my previous post -- as it's a little embarrassing and the result of 4 Coronas. Embarrassing for two reasons: the content; and I used to be a bartender (I'm trying not to drink/as much as it's wasteful calories while drinking and usually makes the next day a waste).
But about the content... for as much as I hate being a pity party, or try not to seek validation from anyone but myself, what I wrote was true to what I was feeling at the moment, so it stays. That journalistic integrity strikes again!
I was thinking about it while I was showering (where all my best thinking happens) and I think one of the reasons why I'm so frustrated is that when a person sees you, they don't know your past or the future you're aiming for. They see you in one moment of time and make a judgment based on that. In other words, they don't know the journey.
When a guy sees me in a bar, he doesn't know I used to weigh 240 lbs, be an obsessive skin picker, and wear braces. He just sees someone that's 198lbs, has okay skin, and okay teeth (that need to be whitened, as I'm not a fan of their color).
The second reason I think I am embarrassed is that I'm so guilty of it as well. While I (rightly?) shoot down some men (like married ones, or ones in relationships) I often don't let guys get out the first sentence before I know whether I'm interested or not. Case-in-point? Old guys, bald guys, short guys, and blue collar guys seem to love me. And I'm judging them b/c I like guys close to my age, with some hair, that are tall (aren't they fun to climb?) and that are wickedly smart (I want to be able to learn and grow with someone).
I really don't want to be known as self-centered, superficial, and/or judgmental. That's not what I expect of myself. So comes another "New Rule."
Let's first rehash the old ones:
1. Leave No One Behind -- if someone asks for help, give it.
2. I will do no harm to my body.
3. I will not think badly when I look at myself in the mirror.
4. I will not judge someone without recognizing the journey they are on first.
So that leads me to a question: What do you want people to notice about you before they make up their minds?