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FGvW Reviews: Body Kindness by Rebecca Scritchfield

in , - on 12:20:00 PM - 1 comment
**waves** Hi everyone -- I'm not dead, I promise.  I started the new year very hopeful and then got the wonderful news that I have heel spurs in both of my feet.  They are very painful and it totally made me slam on the breaks with walking, going to the gym.  Steroid shots didn't work, going to physical therapy next.  But if that doesn't work, I may have 2 more surgeries ahead of me.  Fun!

DISCLAIMERS
1.  Rebecca Scritchfield is my dietitian and my friend.
2.  She did give me a copy of the book to review and enjoy, but not before I had purchased a copy for myself.
3.  I may be a little biased because I'm quoted in the book (pg. 219)
Body Kindness by Rebecca Scritchfield, RDN


It's taken me reading the book twice to really process a lot of Body Kindness.  My first read had me thinking that the book was organized wrong, and the second read had me convinced that you could read each section out of order and see something you might have missed if you read the book from front to back.  I realized that Body Kindness wasn't organized wrong:  it was organized to undo a lot of the familiar harm (from easier to undo to harder to undo) we've seen in countless other diet/weight loss/fitness books and articles in order to open the reader up to a new way of thinking about not just their body but, more importantly, their life.  I should have known that Rebecca would be sneaky like that and make the book a gigantic head fake (a Randy Pausch term for indirect learning).

Body Kindness is divided into four main sections:

  1. What you do ("Habits like eating, exercise, and sleep choices");
  2. How you feel ("The thoughts and emotions that influence your day-to-day choices and overall life satisfaction");
  3. Who you are ("Your beliefs and values that help you focus on what's really important to you and why"); and
  4. Where you belong ("The relationships every single one of us needs that provide the opportunity to be part of something greater than ourselves").
Each section challenges the reader to challenge their thoughts/beliefs and behaviors in relation to how they feel about who they are and treat their bodies.  Where did these beliefs and behaviors come from?  From where are your goals and ideals springing forth–are they intrinsic or extrinsic? Do they reflect your values and respect your needs?  And Body Kindness asks the most important question of them all:  Do your thoughts/beliefs/behaviors contribute positively to the life you want to be living? Do you undermine your values with your thoughts/words/behaviors? Buried deep in the final chapters was a passage that brought me to tears, simply because I knew it to be true but hadn't been living it:
For me, it's humbling to think of my own life in the context of such miraculous and historical beauty [the Grand Canyon].  How can I waste another moment of my short years on this planet down-playing the miracle of this body I have been given?  From tiny cells we become the most beautiful thinking, breathing, feeling creatures on earth.  What an amazing gift we have been given, and how dare we squander and abuse it?

In other words, this book is about the pre-contemplation phase (I call it "foundation," but "re-calibration" also works) that every person must go through BEFORE deciding they want to make a change in their life.  And, in my opinion, the first part of that epiphany is realizing that you deserve a life that you love–a life that's more than just going through the motions of what is expected or what you think others want you to be.

Body Kindness doesn't just ask the tough questions, but it also offers a method (not a prescription) to build a strong foundation based on the Body Kindness Pillars of "love, connect, care."  Rebecca took some of the best lessons (such as mindfulness and forgiveness) and data (such as how diets are manufactured to fail) from many different places and put them all in one space without getting bogged down in pages of footnotes or endnotes.  Her words echo the wisdom of our bodies that we already know to be true–wisdom that has spent a lifetime fighting bad science, bad theory, and bad influences. 

I found that I would read a few pages and then need to put the book down because of a few reasons (1) it's hard to read books when you have cats (2) something rang true for my own life (3) something made me think of someone I loved (both alive and no longer with me) and I wished they had read the same words to help them escape their self-inflicted suffering. I found myself on Amazon, sending people that I love copies mid-sentence.  I found myself quoting it to friends.  The "Spiral Up" on page 260 helped me come to peace with some things that had been weighing me down but also took some time and compassion to let go of. 

I would recommend Body Kindness to anyone who needs to get a tune up and get their head back in the right place.  I'd recommend this book to anyone who needs to let go of the negative thoughts/feelings/behaviors that have constricted their life.  I would recommend this book to anyone who needs the reassurance to give themselves permission to trust themselves about themselves.  I'd recommend this book to anyone who wants to reconnect with themselves and the world around them.  I'd also recommend this book because it had me laughing out loud quite a few times (ahem, page 245... that was unexpected, but such generous honesty).

I'd also recommend Body Kindness to anyone who needs to detox themselves from diet books, diet articles, fitness books, fitness articles, and self-help people trying to sell expensive ideas.  Rebecca might have screwed herself out of a sequel by publishing this very complete book. 
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Bullshit.

in , - on 10:05:00 AM - 6 comments

I'm calling BULLSHIT on this one.  

Aggressive exercise and calorie restriction?  WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE.

I may be no doctor, but this flies in the face of current (and long-standing) Center for Disease Control studies that say for people to lose weight & keep it off long term, they're better off doing it through slow and deliberate behavioral change:




So let's go with anecdotal evidence

Who among you has had any long-term success with "aggressive exercise and caloric restriction"?

 Who among you has found "aggressive exercise and caloric restriction" just fosters yo-yo dieting, unhealthy physical and psychological habits, and in the long-term just doesn't work?
And if that's not enough...

Let's look at Dr. H's own body of work -- how well did "aggressive exercise and caloric restriction" work for his Biggest Loser patients who may have lost the weight, but seriously fucked up their metabolism (and their mental well-being) in the process and just gained the weight (and in some cases extra) back? 
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Sympathy Pain

in , - on 10:53:00 AM - No comments
Sometimes I say things flippantly and it takes a moment for it to set in and I realize how profound I can be when I'm not trying.  I just tweeted about how I'm in pain right now:


I realized two things in this moment.  

First, though I know my body is physically connected to each other as a dynamic machine, but I never paused to consider that my body parts may be emotionally connected to each other.  That some deep part of my reptilian brain (the one that says stop, relax, heal) is trying to override my hominid brain (keep moving and rehabbing).  

Second, I quite often say "Until you understand, you don't understand back pain. And I wouldn't want you to understand."  Part of me realizes how shitty this is -- that I'm limiting other peoples' ability to relate to me and to my injury.  The other part feels that it's completely legit.  Spine pain is kinda unlike any other physical injury--it doesn't localize itself.  

When my neck was really bad, my left arm got the worst of it.  I'm still dealing with the continual tinnitus.  I was constantly dropping things (I sometimes still do on days when I'm tired and not paying attention to my posture). With my lower back, I can feel the heat of inflammation over L3-4, L4-L5, L5-S1.  But I also feel it in my hip.  I feel it down my legs.  I'm quite often unsteady in certain positions (like when in the shower washing anything below my hips, or flipping my hair over so I can put it in a towel), sitting becomes painful at work (it's impossible to make my desk a standing desk without losing all my working space b/c it's a circular cockpit). when at the kitchen sink washing dishes, etc. 

I realized that I identify more with people who have full body injuries, diseases, and chronic pain, than people who, for example, just sprained an ankle or dislocated a shoulder. When I talk to people with chronic pain, chronic diseases and injuries, there's this pause of recognition where we just understand there's the pain of the injury/disease and the pain the injury/disease causes. 

In the discussion that Janet and I led at Fitbloggin (Living with Pain:  A Survival Guide), we had two posters:  one of a really badly drawn (mea culpa) body for corporeal/visible pain and the other one a list of "invisible pain" (I would share photos, but we had people put their names on them--so it's not for me to share really).   When we were talking about visible and invisible injuries, there was almost this collective sigh of relief when we could say to each other that we were depressed, anxious, scared, embarrassed, disappointed, and just plain exhausted.  

What a beautiful release to not have to be strong and perfect. 
What a beautiful expression of grace to be able to hold each other in our hearts for just an hour. 

(now that I'm in full on tangent mode....) I think that's what sympathy pain is really about -- the ability to allow someone to be in pain and be in their presence and not try to fix them, to cultivate empathy in your body and your mind and be able to shoulder their pain for a short time. 

Maybe my body is trying to spread my pain in a thin layer, rather than a big glob of pain right over my back. Maybe my legs are saying "we're strong enough to take some of this."  Or maybe it's my back saying "I can't handle all of this." 
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FGvW Reviews: Down Size, Part 3

in - on 8:00:00 AM - No comments
See Part 1 and Part 2 for both my disclaimer and review.  This is the third and final part of the my review.  Thanks for sticking with me through not just all the material but all of my tangents. 
DOWN SIZE:  
12 Truths for Turning Pants-Splitting Frustration into Pants-Fitting Success 

Part 3:  Your Best Size:
Getting the Body You Want—For Good

9. Dedication
10. Inspiration
11. Connection
12. Resolution

9. Dedication — In the chapter on Perspiration Ted Spiker shares a really great quote from Martin Rooney that leads in to the chapter on dedication: 
The warrior is process-oriented, not outcome-oriented. They have to train like, when the fight gets here, they gotta know that, win or lose, they know they did what they could. So many people live this unfulfilled life. They're always so focused on the outcome and then when it doesn't happen the way they want, then they think everything was a waste along the way.  But, man, if you've done your best, regardless of the outcome, you're going to be okay with it.  I call it the warrior test. If you wake up in the morning and ask yourself, 'Hey, what am I going to do today?' and at the end of the day, you ask 'What did I do today?' If you fail that test enough days in a row, you're not going to be something. If you pass that test enough days in a row, I guarantee you can't imagine what you can accomplish in a hundred days, let alone years. 
Heavy, right? That was the crux of mine and so many other people's problems when it comes to weight loss/health gain. Somewhere along the time we forget that the process yields the outcome. Did we keep our promises to ourselves? The outcome just doesn't magically happen.  It requires consistency as well as a degree of flexibility. 

Dedication is one of those murky concepts that we all kind of grok, but have a hard time putting our finger on.  Spiker (with the help of Leslie Podlog) talks about determination in terms of energy -- what do we put in of ourselves toward meeting a goal? How do we muster the energy to continue changing our habits, changing our bodies, changing our lives? 

Spiker then goes to quote Podlog once again in a manner that completely stopped me dead in my tracks.  I put the book down, and thought back on the past few years about every time my journey got hard or any time I suffered a setback.  (Dear spine... ) "The nature of transition is uncertainty, and uncertainty is an aversive state.  When there's no certainty, there's a lack of control, and that creates anxiety."  Come what may, there's only so much we can control.  The more we put our energy into the things we can control, the more it offsets the energy sapped away from those things we can't control.  (In plain terms, because I didn't work on my diet when my back was injured, I was creating further anxiety versus relieving it.) 

Spiker then takes me, already beaten up by these revelations, and then ponders the difference between reasons and excuses, finally settling on "Instead of trying to identify what's a reason and what an excuse, it really is simply about making a choice."  You got me there, Spiker.  Had I simply been choosing to stay away from the gym? Did my dedication waiver too far? "We like to think of dedication as emotion--as being gutsy, being loud, being grunters who push and pull and fight to reach our destination.  Real dedication is quiet. Real dedication isn't about emotion; it's about cognition--about learning what to do and then thinking about the process to do it." (What some people would call "grit.") Dedication isn't a declaration, it's a resource.

10. Inspiration — [I have to admit that I was getting a little nervous about not seeing my quotes in the book.  It was page 206 by the time I got to this chapter.  Had I been edited out of the book?] Spiker begins this chapter by giving a few example of the people and athletes that inspire him.  He then presents an interesting question -- what's the difference between inspiration and motivation (See Chapter 6 -- Motivation)?  He finds an answer when discussing this topic with Art Markman -- "Motivation requires both a combination of a well-defined goal and the energy to pursue that goal.  Inspiration is only one piece of the motivational formula -- the energy part."  

 Dedication and inspiration are two things that help fuel our actions when we face obstacles or when our attention to our goals begins to fade.  But unlike motivation, inspiration isn't made-to-order or manufactured; it must be sought out.  Spiker quotes cognitive psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD, "... inspiration can be thought of as an interaction between your current knowledge and the information you receive from the world."  Inspiration challenges us to grow.

Spiker posits "the missing part of the inspiration equation for many people is that, most times, we're looking to be the receiver--we're looking for the data that can help us.  We want to be moved. We want that energy.  We want inspiration thrust upon us. What we don't realize, perhaps, is that when we start to receive it, we begin to give it--and that's the cycle that has the most energy." [Okay, I see where you're going with this, Ted.]

Ted Spiker is no stranger to the feedback loop that is social media (check out The Big Guy Blog in Runner's World) and the power of community (for better and for worse) when declaring our intentions regarding weight loss and health gain.  It's just another way we can create an interpersonal environment to promote our success.  But it's risky -- there's both support and criticism in this arena, as Spiker notes (and as I'm well aware).  It relates, once again, to Chapter 6 -- Motivation.  One of the most important intrinsic motivators is relatedness -- feeling connected to others.

And then I see my name -- in print...in a hard-cover book.  **squees** You'll just have to get the book to see what I say and know that it's only because of my readers that I had the courage to talk to Ted and let him print any of it.  So thank you.  I'm truly honored to be in this book, and of all the chapters, to be included as an Inspiration just floors me.

 11. Connection— The subtitle of this chapter is "Truth:  It Takes Others to Do It by Yourself."  Spiker shares more anecdotes of how having teammates support him through a challenge/goal.  This is different from competition (such as his wanting to beat Dr. Oz at basketball).  It is camaraderie -- the way we honor the promises we make not only to ourselves but to others.

Doug Newburg makes a poignant comment regarding Spiker's Tough Mudder team challenge, "The challenge wasn't getting over the wall. It was committing to being a part of a team.  You wanted to connect with people, and that's the underling thing in everything we do. That is the goal. This is what being human is about:  connecting to other people."  Those connections are some of the best predictors in terms of weight loss/health gain success.

I think about how much my obesity isolated me.  I may have been the fat and happy person, but it was all a facade--I used my weight as a barrier to connecting to other with other people and letting them connect with me. The biggest strides I made with weight loss all happened in the presence of and with the support of my little FGvW community, friends, and family. They let me be fearless.  And more importantly, they let me be afraid.  They they me ask for help when I needed it.

Spiker relays many different ways we can connect with the people around us, or to connect with people we are not quite connected to yet.  Find your people, find yourself.

12. Resolution— "Truth: There Is No Finish Line"  We can all have our interim goals, but I think most everyone's long-term goal is to have a long, healthy life. That requires all the -ologies we can muster -- not just mastering our physiology and biology.  We all have to find a way to wrap our heads around the process of weight loss/health gain, and how to live in our bodies. 

Spiker shared one of my favorite quotes by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj "Make love of yourself perfect."  The great thing about the quote is that it's not saying "love yourself perfectly," it's asking us to temper how we act towards ourselves and how we think about ourselves. Throughout the book, Spiker addresses body image issues and the different ways they can play on our psyche. 

 Then Spiker really raised the bar for me -- saying that I had a profound point about how we're trained to scrutinize our bodies for what's wrong:  (in his worlds) "How do you tell yourself to accept your body when your body is not acceptable?" How do we "transition from beating ourselves up to bringing ourselves up?" 

 Self-compassion/lovingkindness is hard to practice and even harder to perfect, but so very worth it.  Spiker quotes studies that point to a correlation between self-compassion and oxytocin (one of the most powerful chemicals that our body produces in regards to how safe and connected we feel towards others and towards ourselves).  Self-compassion doesn't mean that we make excuses for ourselves, it just means we don't beat-ourselves up for not being perfect. 

 Spiker wants his readers to ask themselves what really matters in this whole weight loss/health gain journey.  His anecdotes hearken back to the intrinsic motivators more than any number on a scale or race time.  Why are we doing this to ourselves if it's not to live a joyful life?  What does that look like for you? 
Perhaps this is the greatest lesson of Down Size -- when it comes to weight loss/health gain, maybe losing weight is just a cool side effect of reducing the amount of noise in our lives that prevents us from living authentically, living enthusiastically, living connectedly.  When we get rid of what's extraneous and holding us back, what then are we capable of doing, who then are we capable of being? 

 I don't know about you all, but I'm interested in meeting that version of me. 
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FGvW Reviews: Down Size, Part 2

in - on 2:22:00 PM - No comments




This continues my review of Professor Ted Spiker's book Down Size.  See Part 1 for my disclaimer and review. 
DOWN SIZE:  
12 Truths for Turning Pants-Splitting Frustration into Pants-Fitting Success 

 Part 2:  Down Size:
Getting Going
5. Inspection
6. Motivation
7. Nutrition
8. Perspiration


5. Inspection — I love you Prof. Spiker, but I really would have put this chapter right after "Foundation" (everyone's a critic, right?) because right up there with knowing your emotional foundation, you need to know your physical/biological foundation.  I'm always going back and forth over which one more people get stuck on:  figuring out why (not how) they've gained weight in the first place or having to go face-to-face with the numbers. 

Knowing I was overweight (and the different ways it permeated my life) was much different than having a doctor in a white coat saying "So...you know you're fat, right?" listing out co-morbidities, then following up with the blood tests that supported her observation. According to Spiker, looking in the mirror (subjective) and getting data points (objective) are both ways we can inspect ourselves. "Many of us tend to avoid those numbers for the same reason we avoid mirrors.  We know we're not going to like what we see, even though that hard data can serve as the impetus for change." 

The great part about inspection is that we can use both the objective and subjective assessments as starting points to set goals. "The point is," according to Spiker, "to establish some kind of baseline against which you can track data, and use incremental goals to keep you moving forward." Eat more veggies, increase your good cholesterol, improve your blood pressure.  

Track data?  Yes please.  I love having my BodyMedia armband (data!) as well as my spreadsheets (data!) that help remind me that even on the days when I feel like I'm not a brand new person, that I actually am in many ways.  Spiker makes a very good point: different tracking works for different people -- you just need to figure out what works for you at any given time (that is, what can you maintain?). 

Doug Newburg makes another appearance in this chapter regarding "feel." I'm still digesting what he says about it and would do neither Doug nor Ted justice by summing it up or even quoting it out of context -- except to say that "feel" is the most in-your-body sense you can have and it's why we're all doing the weight loss/health gain thing.  Just go and read it. Now. 

6. Motivation — Ask people what they think "motivation" means and you'll probably get a list of examples of things that can be motivating, but don't actually define what motivation is.  Spiker has one of the best explanations of what motivation is:  "you...telling your body what's important." I think everyone who has been successful in weight loss/health gain has realized this in one way or another (in my opinion, the biggest motivation is realizing that we (as a whole person) matter).   

Spiker then explains the difference between the different kinds of motivation:  extrinsic (surface level, such as wanting to lose a few pounds before summer) and intrinsic ("deeper goals driven by how you feel at an emotional...level").  Intrinsic motivators speak to three basic needs we have as humans:  autonomy, relatedness, and competence. Spiker says that we can start with an extrinsic goal, but we have to engage the intrinsic in order to have lasting success. There's much more about this in the book that I think is worthy of a second read with a highlighter.

In this chapter Spiker also talks about the importance of planning for the journey as a whole -- that is, planning to create success and planning on how to handle the bumps in the road. He also talks about the psychology behind how competition as well as incentives play into staying motivated.  

As my motivation has been lacking as of late, I think I'll be re-reading this chapter and meditating on it.

7. Nutrition — I love that Prof. Spiker gives us credit here -- that most of us are self aware to a degree and that we know what we should be eating.  He quotes Jonathan Bailor, "It's simple, but it's not easy."  Spiker addresses many of the ways that nutrition is hard such as our environment, differing scientific studies ("fluid science"), as well as having to still eat when we know it's part of what made us fat.  

 Spiker talks about the science that we do know -- such as how our bodies metabolize sugars and how we store fat, and how environment influences the choices we make, In this chapter, he seems to have a parallel view with much of what Michael Pollen writes in his book "Food Rules" (I love it when well-researched authors agree).  Spiker reiterates the anthems of the converted:  (1) eat real food; and, (2) mind the portion sizes.  

 Spiker diverges a bit from most other weight loss/heath gain books for a bit here by not prescribing a set diet of "you must eat this" and "you must eat that." That's on you.  You need to know what you can live with in terms of what you're eating and not eating. You can create your own eating plan, but that also requires knowing basic nutrition (he comments on this) and food logging (how else would you be able to recreate your successes?). "The main message is:  Create your own answer.  If something stops working, try something else." 

 8. Perspiration — Midway through the chapter, Professor Spiker quotes Alex Hutchinson regarding all the differing perspectives on how to get the best results out of your workout, "All of that is noise on top of the signal.  Are you exercising or are you not exercising? That's the question that matters."  
Sadly, some people feel paralyzed about exercise because (as he mentions in the chapter "Frustration") they feel they need to be perfect (in their diet, in their exercise); rather than be imperfect, they shut down.  

 I don't think it's any huge revelation that all people, whether they're trying to lose weight or not, need to exercise.  Just like we nourish our bodies with food, we have to nourish our bodies with movement.  Spiker reminds us that we need to be smart about our exercise -- we need goals (which means more data!), we need variety ("not only for the physiological benefits, but also the psychological ones"), and we need to play ("create an environment that makes exercise feel more like recess than a routine").  

 Just like there's a nutrition plan for everyone, there are limitless possibilities in how you interpret goals, variety, and play.  Spiker believes "anything can work."  Be flexible and figure out what works for you, your life, your schedule, and your body. And if you see a tall guy with wide hips walking down the street with a sledgehammer, it's probably Professor Spiker.  If he doesn't have wide hips, you should probably try running. 

 (I'd like to add here that "play" represents a fundamental difference between how I was wired before and how I was wired after my "epiphany:  before my epiphany, exercise was punishment; after the epiphany, I saw exercise as the reward.  Find a way to love exploring what your body is capable of and you'll never regret a workout in your life, no matter how hard you push yourself, no matter how limited you may be.)
Stay tuned for Part 3:  Your Best Size: Getting the Body You Want—For Good
9. Dedication
10. Inspiration
11. Connection
12. Resolution 
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FGvW Reviews: Down Size, Part 1

in - on 4:09:00 PM - No comments
Disclaimer:  Back in July 2013, Professor Ted Spiker sent me an email asking to interview me in connection with a book that he was working on.  He has come across FatGirlvsWorld and wanted to chat about some of my experiences.  Our email correspondence went on for a little bit.  In January 2014, he showed me the first draft of how he was going to weave my words into his book.  It wasn't until Dacia showed sent me a tweet that I realized that the book had been published (and that many of my friends had also been interviewed (**waves to Dacia and Tina**).  My review is not sponsored (i.e, I purchased my own copy of the book and was not compensated for my time/thoughts) and as always, unfiltered.

I have read many weight loss/health gain books over the years.  Most of them suck for a variety of reasons.  Some latch on to a fad diet or philosophy.  Some only scrape the surface of what it means to really change your life and your body.  Some offer no new insights, but rather just repackage truisms, slogans, and dogmatic beliefs about how to operate our bodies.  Some are so stuck in their own story that they don't realize they may be an exception, a bore, or even a bit loco in the coco. 

But this wasn't it.  I said to Prof. Spiker last night that, "I don't think I have ever dog-eared a weight loss book as much as I have Down Size. Gonna have to digest this one." And I totally meant it! Not only was it a page turner because it was funny and genuine, but it gave me lots to think about in regards to my own journey and where I am right now.

The book is divided into three parts, and so I'm going to do my review in three parts because there's a lot to go through. However, lots of the chapters are interrelated (such as 1. Foundation and 5. Inspection) Up first? 

 Part 1:  Up Size:
Getting Stuck

(introduction)
1. Foundation
2. Temptation
3. Frustration
4. Humiliation

 As a rule, I kinda hate snooty, didactic weight loss/health gain books -- the ones that start to the tune of "I am a doctor! Do what I tell you to do!" or "I did it! Do exactly what I did!" or even worse -- "I have no business writing this book. I have no experience or expertise. but weight loss is a multi-billion dollar industry, so here's a book."

Down Size is none of these.  Ted Spiker has been in the trenches with us (underneath a pile of tacos, perhaps) and knows that if weight loss were an easy thing, we'd all be doing it.  But it's complex and confusing. It's not a straight line.  The book weave humor, anecdote, and science into a narrative that shows how to tune out the extraneous and how to tune in to the important stuff that happens along the way.

 1. Foundation — Spiker discusses how physiology (biology) and psychology are expressed in our bodies both in the past and in the present.  This is our foundation. "[F]oundation isn't about blame." That's a heavy concept for a lot of people (myself included).  This is one of those "Do Not Pass Go; Do Not Collect $200" moments:  In order to make any lasting change in our life, we have to investigate how we arrived at the person we currently are, we have to go beyond the fact that we are overweight and figure out why that is. It's more than just having the knowledge.  As a health/fitness writer, Spiker had access to all kinds of knowledge and resources, but there was a gap between the knowledge and the application. Our bodies are magnificent machines that prefer a degree of homeostasis.  When we gain (excessive) weight, there's a disruption either in our physiology/biology or our psychology (or you're pregnant).  Being able to pinpoint that reason is like finding a key to unlocking the doors that have kept us from who we want to be.

 2. Temptation — **puts down the potato chips to write this** Remember how I said above that weight loss/health gain isn't a straight line? In this chapter, Spiker talks about all the gravitational forces that pull us away from that line, and more importantly, how to develop strategies to right ourselves.  In this clip from the Dr. Oz Show, he talks about one of his strategies:  If/Then.  Spiker shows that it's not about willpower, but more about creating strategies for upholding the goals you have.

 3. Frustration — (where my head/heart/body is currently).  Spiker quotes his friend, Doug Newburg with a variation on the old adage about the definition of insanity, "If it's not working, then why do you keep doing the same thing?" When we're frustrated (i.e., stressed) we often revert to what we know. In the case of people who are overweight/obese, "what we know" is often what got us to where we are in the first place. But if we're frustrated by not getting results, we have to change the process and the beliefs that conveyed us to where we stand. Often this means we need to take a step back, re-assess, and re-calibrate. In my world, that usually means going back to what makes me happy -- or rather, what relieves the judgment and frustration.

 4. Humiliation — Spiker points out that "[s]hame is internal; humiliation exposes you to the world."  writes "and that when we experience humiliation, we have two choices: "crumple or push on."  In other words, humiliation is outside force trying to divorce us from our sense of place in the world as well as our sense of self. Spiker asks us to examine how we respond in those moments all the while sharing some of his humiliating moments.

 Up next?
Part 2:  Down Size:
Getting Going
5. Inspection
6. Motivation
7. Nutrition
8. Perspiration

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The Fit of Fitting In Part III: BOOBS!

in - on 2:27:00 PM - No comments
The Fit of Fitting In, Part I:  All people deserve to feel comfortable when exercising, not just athletic models.
 Give us options that make us feel fast and strong, not just like we need to be camouflaged.

The Fit of Fitting In, Part II:  Taking City Sports' extended sizes for a spin, or rather, for a cha cha cha.

Also related:  my thoughts on being "Lulu-Worthy" well before they were publicly criticized for shunning plus-sized shoppers.
I'd love to give credit, but I don't
know who took this originally.
So the title of this post says it all:  BOOBS.  Boobies. Tatas.  Breasts.

They've always been a part of my body that (1) I've been proud of, but (2) have been made to feel ashamed about.  My first bra was a sports bra that flattened my breasts into my chest, all because my mom was jealous of my development.  The old ladies at the store kept trying to show me cute things with little bows, but my mom would have none of it.

Because of my history with sports bras, I'm VERY particular about sports bras now.
  1. The bra must perform.  They need to keep up with me in the gym.  
  2. The bra must be easy to put on and not require the Jaws of Life to remove. 
  3. The bra must be stylish and not look like a granny bra.  (For instance, they may work like a charm, but I've never thought Enell sports bras were pretty.) 
  4. The bra must not give me uniboob.  Compression doesn't always limit breast movement. 
  5. The bra must not cost an arm and a leg.  A good bra is worth its price, but only if it performs. 
I've been a big fan of Moving Comfort for a while now.  Instead of sizes being S, M, L, XL, Suspension Bridge, they mix up band and cup size (you know, like a regular bra).  I'm wearing the Moving Comfort Vixen bra in my "Joy of Exercise" and "Spokesbody" videos.  Recently, City Sports Bethesda (MD) had Moving Comfort in to do a sports bra fitting and they invited me to come in.  Their awesome rep, Christine M., measured me (a 38DD or its 'sister-size' 40C) and gave me a few options to try on.  

So much of the bra fitting process is about finding what works for you personally, not what works for anyone else.  Try on a few bras, jump up and down, bend over, jog around.  Don't be afraid to test the bra!

I wanted to like this bra but it didn't happen for me.  I felt it ran a little small (see the stretch across the front?). 

Also, there was no underwire in this bra, which means it broke the uniboob rule. 

I did, however, like the wide, adjustable straps. With some of my older VSX bras (before they redesigned the line), I'm always shortening the straps (from the back).  These shorten from the front, which is BRILLIANT.





This one was all sorts of wrong for me.   I didn't like the relatively high neckline and how close it cut under my arms.  And while I appreciate that there is an underwire and support, the underwire poked out in a way that made it look like I had a roaming third nipple.  

I did like that they had gel-padded straps.  I can see this being a very important feature for larger-chested runners.  







Maybe it was because the bra that I tried on was green, but my first comment to Christine M. was "HULK SMASH BOOBS."  It wants to pretend that it is a very supportive bra, but it compresses without supporting/encapsulating, and thus failed the jump test. 
From the outside it looks like there are molded cups, but there are not.  And as you can see, the fabric was doing something funky.








Rebound Racer
For all the reasons the other bras weren't quite doing it for me, the Rebound Racer ( the bra that I tried on first!) was a better choice.

The Rebound Racer had the wide, adjustable straps that I liked from the Jubralee.  While there was no underwire, there was plenty of support.  The pattern helped skirt the uniboob issue, but not completely.

I just did a 5-mile run on the elliptical and it did okay, not great.  I purchased it in the 38DD, but like many of the reviews on the site, I found the band to be a little tight.  I did find there was a bit more vertical jiggle than I would like.


The Urban X-Over
I've been wearing this model of Moving Comfort Bra for 2 years and I love it for a lot of reasons.  The molded cups mean I'm not flashing my nipples to everyone in a cold gym (see Jubralee, Maia, Endurance Racer).  The molded cups also keep my boobs separate and secure.  I don't have a uniboob in this.  The racerback fully unhooks.  It's one of the easiest sports bras in my collection to get in/out of .  It is also the bra that stays the most dry (= less chafing).  And because it's an adjustable racerback, I can put my boobs where I want them, and they'll stay there.

So while I didn't find a new bra that blew my mind, I'll stick with the Moving Comfort bras on which I've come to rely (The Urban X-Over and the Vixen), as well as my surprising love for the Victoria's Secret Incredible sports bra (which I hadn't expected to love, but is a serious contender for a running bra).
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Run

in , , - on 8:30:00 AM - 9 comments
I've blogged about how when I was in elementary school I would dread the day that we'd do the presidential fitness test. You see, I was naturally athletic (playing sports like softball or volleyball), but horrible at these arbitrary tests.  Part of me felt that my peers, these kids, received some sort of secret ninja/spy training when they were younger that prepared them for these feats. I would try my best and fail miserably at most of the tests; but I'd fail none so spectacularly as the mile run.  The fastest kids would finish between 6 and 7 minutes.  Me and the slowest boy would run/jog/walk/run/jog/walk/jog/walk/walk/walk/walk/walk somewhere between 15-16 minutes.

So this past weekend when I walked into Pacers Running Store, part of me was worried that because I didn't know the secret handshake they'd know I wasn't a runner.  Yes, I know.  I'm being ridiculous, but there was still a part of me that felt like I didn't belong there.  But I had money and a need for sneakers (I knew my sneakers were not just dying, but actually dead).
Tripp
Luckily, I caught the attention of a salesperson (Tripp) and he took great care of me.  I brought my old sneakers with me (Saucony Pro Grid 3s) and I think he immediately recoiled because they were just so worn down.  (Don't worry, I donated the offending sneakers.)

He put me on their treadmill and recorded me running for a few seconds at pace (I went for 10:00 minute miles cause I don't normally use a treadmill).  Good news was that I didn't supinate as much as I thought and I was pretty well aligned from my ankle to my knee.  What this meant is that I didn't need a shoe with arch support (I have naturally high arches) or a shoe that has motion control (to fix how my foot was landing). 

The Saucony ProGrid3 was a good neutral shoe, but Tripp thought we could do better than the most recent iteration of that shoe.   He also surprised me with one little tidbit -- I actually needed a size 10.5 running shoe.   He explained that most people come in needing a half-size to a full size bigger because (1) their feet swell when running and (2) to provide enough room in the toe box so that when you land, your toes have somewhere to go.  All of this seems so obvious, but I thought the 10s I brought in were big enough (I also have the same shoe in a 9.5).

The Brooks Ghost 6s were the winner.
Tripp brought out a few models for me to try (if I were a better blogger, I would have taken photos, but alas...):  (1) Nike Zoom Vomero+ 8 (I felt like my heel was going to come out no matter what I did); (2) New Balance 880v3s (which fit, but felt heavy on my foot); and (3) Brooks Ghost 6.  During this process he also gave me a short tutorial on how to make sure a sneaker is on right -- to tap the heel into the ground to make sure it's all the way back, and then pull the laces tight at the middle, go forward, and then go all the way back again to make sure that your midfoot is secure, and that your heel is going nowhere.


I also picked up some other goodies:

(1) CEP progressive calf sleeves -- to help my calves with recovery (after my first run, I was walking a little noodly for a day or two) and they'll come in handy as the weather gets a bit cooler;

(2) SPIBelt high visibility belt (and yes, I was amazed that my GalaxySIII fit in that tiny little pocket); and

(3) Amphipod stretch reflective bands, cause well.... you can never be too safe.



In sum, I had a great experience at Pacers Running Store, I learned a little bit about how I run, and the kinds of shoes that I need to look for and all that was left to do was take my new sneakers on a run. But before I went, I asked @RunPacers if they had any advice for an elliptical runner going to the ground: 

The Francis Scott Key Bridge as seen from Georgetown Waterfront (notice how sweaty my hands get? Ew!)

Outtake:  Spike and Jack confer regarding the new sneakers.
After two short runs, the sneakers feel great and I'm not feeling the same pains in my calves that I did after that first run.

However, I'm not going on long runs.  I'm still a bit hesitant and want to see how my lower back responds.  My neck is doing great. 

I will mix elliptical and running outside for a while until I get a better feel as to how the compression is affecting my spine, and also to meet my #GoTheDist goals.


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Are you sure you want to eat that?

in , , - on 11:11:00 PM - No comments
I love loaning books to friends (except if the book is truly irreplaceable).  More often than not they get returned to me.  In the case of The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex"--I've lost 3 copies to people who have asked to "borrow" it.  It's okay, though.  To loan a book is good karma. 

I'll stop you right there--it's not some racy manual with positions and tricks--it's more about how our views towards sexuality and sensuality are shaped, and how we/our mannerisms are perceived.  The very first exercise that sex therapist Barbara Keesling has you do is to think back into your past and think about all the times you had a sexual or sensual thought/feeling and someone told you that what you thought/felt (something natural) was bad (something loaded with judgment, and no context/explanation).

I was thinking about this a few days ago as it relates to food and even our own growing bodies.  How many times growing up did I hear other people trying to edit what I was eating:  Are you sure you want to eat that slice of pizza?  Is that ice cream worth it?  Wouldn't you rather have a salad?  Worse off was when people tried to warp how I viewed my own body.  (What? I'm not all va va va voom like Jessica Rabbit?) 

Instead of listening to the wisdom of my hunger and satiety, I learned to let the external voices  dictate the relationship between me and my body/mind and my relationship with food.  Instead of being kind to my body, I let other people tell that I should be ashamed of my body and how it was metamorphosing.  Somehow, they were the experts on what it meant to be Robby and I should listen them.  Yeah, it sounds silly now, but I let them steer me off course.   

The whole point of the book's exercise isn't to blame, but to note, forgive, and move on.  How do you move on?  You learn how to turn up the volume on your inner voice and listen to it.  You learn to honor your body at all times.  To go for that run, to wear the shirt that makes you feel sexy, to surround yourself with positive friends/family, etc.  To not go for that run, to wear the shirt that makes you feel warm, to be alone if you need to be, etc. 

It's not like flipping a switch, it's a process that's going to be easy at times and hard others.  But it's worthwhile.  You are worthwhile.  That's what The Epiphany is.  When we're young, it's easy to suffer the outside influences.  As we're older, we need to be able to honor our bodies for the wondrous gifts that they are. 

And yes, the ice cream is worth it.

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Didn't get that memo

in - on 5:46:00 PM - 5 comments
So...doot da do... Grimmway Farms was AWESOME and sent me some swag as a prize for participating in their #JustCrunchEm chat (emceed by Courney Crozier (BL11) during the Biggest Loser a few weeks ago.
They sent me The Biggest Loser Family Cookbook (2008) signed by Sione Fa (BL7), Felipe Fa (BL7), and Mark *mumbles through his last name* Pinhasovich (BL10) (who are all so very handsome and dreamy).  They also sent me a fancy Just Crunch Em tumbler (that I've already used for my mean green smoothie):


I'm really appreciative towards the gang at Grimmway farms and former BL contestants involved in the giveaway.  However.... I take issue with a few of the things said in the cookbook:

"Don't let meal scraps go to waste.  If your kids aren't going to eat
the leftovers on their plates, can Fido?  Dog food is expensive!
And after all, he's part of the family too.
Why am I not impressed with this?  There are many foods that we eat that are harmful to a pet's digestive system.  And more than that, you should also be mindful of your pet's diet and nutritional needs.  It's just as hard for a pet to lose weight as it is for you to lose weight.

But even worse than that was this little nugget:


First of all, the math is not simple.  This is why I strongly suggest getting a BodyMedia Armband (click here to get 15% off), so you can measure your caloric expenditure rather than just estimating it.   This is the only guideline the book offers in terms of calculating caloric intake.  It says nothing about caloric expenditure/multiplier factors (such as the Harris-Benedict Equation) for people that have active lifestyles or workout. 

Secondly, I'm a voracious reader of all things diet and nutrition related, and most dietitians and doctors agree that people should never go under certain caloric thresholds.  It varies among experts, but it's usually between 1200 and 1400 calories.  This is for two reasons:  (1) it's difficult to get all the nutrients one needs for anything less than 1200 calories (2) the average person's needs around 1200 calories just to stay alive (basal metabolic rate). Eventually, such a low caloric intake will have negative consequences for a person's metabolism.

I'm really disappointed that The Biggest Loser put out a book like this.  I just hope that in the 5 years since the publication of the book that they have addressed and corrected this bad advice.

Do you know your daily caloric intake requirements? 
Do you food log? 
Have you had your food logs analyzed by a registered dietitian? 

OR

Are you just kinda winging it? 
How do you know that your plan is healthy and achievable?
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Because She Could, I Can

in , - on 3:57:00 PM - 3 comments
Source here
If you were at Fitbloggin, chances are that you had a chance to meet the wonderful and amazing Janet Ober.  I've been following her on Twitter for a while as a casual acquaintance, I knew her name and her face, but I didn't know her story.  Imagine my surprise when I met her and noticed something a little different about this spunky blond with a huge smile:  (my dear Janet, I'm going to be blunt here -- anyone who knows me knows that sometimes my inquisitive nature doesn't have a filter and subsequently I can come off as insensitive, though it's not my intention) she looked like a shark had taken a big chunk out of her leg. 

I felt really bad for not realizing this about her before we had met, so I jumped on my smartphone and immediately looked up her Web site and then her story began to unfold before me.  Without having to say a word, I knew she understood and felt all the feelings I had about being injured and broken, I knew she understood the rollercoaster ride when one recovers from an injury. She knew what it's like to live with pain and restriction.

Our two messages seemed to belong to each other -- #GoTheDist Why? Because I Can.

On the last day of Fitbloggin, we ran into each other in the lobby and said our goodbyes.  She asked me if I'd hold on so she could give me a copy of her book, "Because I Can:  doing what I can, with what I have, where I am."  I'm so glad she did.

Though we might have entirely different backgrounds and entirely different injuries, the process of recovery is remarkably similar.  I found myself (especially in chapters 10-11 ("A Hurricane and An Obituary" and "Mentors and Counselors," respectively) nodding in agreement and recognition with what she was saying and what was being said to her (pg. 179 "Allowing myself to write this sentence: I am disappointed about the losses I have. with a period at the end was a big step for me.  Before that when I'd mention my losses, I would quickly add something about being thankful for how well I was recovering.   I had not allowed myself to honestly admit my feelings of loss, because I thought doing so would mean I was an ungrateful person...")

It's hard to explain injuries and chronic pain to people -- some people think that just because you're not bleeding out, confined to a bed, or buttressed with metal that you're okay .  That couldn't be farther from the truth (pg. 156 "Yes, I might have survived the trauma, but daily life was kicking my butt.  It was not looking like I  thought it should.  The constant pain and low energy levels were wearing me out.").  Once the acute issues are handled, there are so many other issues that come up--about learning how to live with your injury versus letting your injury run your life, how to grieve for the loss of the life and body you wanted and the things you might not ever do again, and how to forgive the causes for the injury as much as the injury itself. 

While hugging her, I told Janet that she was the light at the end of my tunnel, telling me that I can get through this.  I meant every word and I am so thankful to have read her memoir.  I wasn't left with pity or sadness for her (or for myself), but a very strong sense that somewhere in Pennsylvania was this amazing woman who knew my pain and didn't need me to tell her every detail to be able to tell me I'd survive it.

So go and read her book and be inspired to "Bloom where [you are] planted."

NB:  One thing her doctor said to her really stuck with me:  "Our bodies protect themselves by giving us pain signals when something is not working properly. ... Your body has been beaten up, but you've done what you needed to help it recover well.  Trust yourself—you know your body better than anyone else.  Don't allow what others have said to hold you back."  (pg. 266, Dr. Tuckman)
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