Birds flyin high, you know how I feel... Sun in the sky, you know how I feel....

I was talking to my new friend, Vinny , yesterday.  I said "you know, a girl can feel good about herself, but it doesn't seem real ...

I was talking to my new friend, Vinny, yesterday.  I said "you know, a girl can feel good about herself, but it doesn't seem real until a guy says it to her."

You see, I kindasorta had a *mumbles*date*mumbles* last night.  It was a happy hour with coworkers (both his and mine).  I was so friggin nervous... absolutely out of practice. And I turned to my twitter friends & fashionistas to help me portray "I like you" without too much "I haven't done this in 8 years."  Everyone came to the rescue... especially Vinny

We decided on jeans & a tank top. I wore my glasses (I usually wear contacts), and minimal makeup.  We both play on the same softball team, so he's only seen me in my athletic outfits, cleats, hats, pony tails.... and sweat.  He's seen me run. He's seen me bend over.  So he's seen me at my grossest, but also at my most awesomely capable (I'm a fantastic softball pitcher).

I won't divulge any details (a girl's gotta keep some things to herself), but suffice it to say, I'm grinning like an idiot today.

For so long I didn't feel good about myself.  For so long I made it hard for anyone else to feel good about me. As I'm feeling better about myself, and about my own value, I'm letting other people in.  I'm letting them love me just a little bit more.  That and I'm loving everyone else so much more.  It's become so important to me to tell the people I truly love that they are important to me.  And because I'm feeling good about myself, when I share my love, the love I have for my friends and family really comes from a healthy, sincere place.

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  1. Yay for grinning like an idiot!!!! :)

  2. You can't even see my eyes -- that's just how big my grin is.

  3. I can totally relate to this post. I spent so much time hating the person I was I forgot about the people that loved me. Its hard to forge a new relationship with the person we are discovering inside if us. I thought I was meant to be isolated and live like the crazy cat lady we all fear to become. Boy how that way of thinking has changed. Now I want to be around people. I don't know quite how to do it (lacking in social skills) but its been fun learning.

    Congratulations on the date with the boy.

    But more importantly, congratulations on the date with yourself!

  4. Tara: You hit the nail on the head (and did so rather eloquently). When we open ourselves up to the possibilities of being happy with ourself, we allow others in our lives. We stop thinking their compliments are pity, and consider them to be sincere. We are no longer the odd man out, but part of the herd. We belong only with other people, but we belong within ourselves. You're very much right that I went on a date with myself. I'm getting to know her all over again, and she's pretty fun.

  5. Yay! I'm so excited for you! You looked mahvelous, by the way. :)

    Please allow me to live vicariously through you as you enjoy the butterflies and goofy grins of happy dating. At the same time, I will join you on the journey of rediscovering ourselves more deeply than ever. Hooray!

  6. Oh my gosh! HOW EXCITING!

    I can't wait to hear how this unfolds!

    And as much as I want to be all "I am woman, hear me roar! You don't need a man to complete you!" (because I do believe that stuff), it is somehow completely wonderful when a GUY says that you're pretty, beautiful, or sexy.

    Revel in this - and soak up every moment! You are worth feeling as desired and attractive as you are. :)

    YAY! Now I'm grinning like a dolt too! :)

  7. Grinning with you! As an old married lady (25 years) I sometimes think wistfully (wishfully?) of those giddy times when we first met.

  8. Heli: Thank you :) :) :) Live vicariously through me all you want. I love the giddy "everything is right in the world" feeling that is before the "omg, when is he going to call" panic.

    HFP: I am also very much about not letting a guy (or any other external force) dictating how i feel about myself, but there's something about having a guy say it... I'll put it this way -- some of the top women's designers are all men. When a man says a woman is beautiful, it's because he's having a visceral reaction to what he's seeing. it's not like a girlfriend who says it out of duty and love.

    I'm totally reveling in this. I'm just trying my best to keep it light and fluffy -- taking things at face value and not getting ahead of myself ((my girlfriend Blake gave me really great advice about this))

    Yay for contagious grinning!

  9. Angela Pea: And as a 28 year old, I can only wait for the day when I've been married 25 years and have 25 years full of giddy memories.

  10. Oh how fantastic! I enjoy that blissful, almost narcotic induced high of dating. It's so nice when they've already seen you bend over.

  11. Rita: it's like I can do no wrong right now :)

  12. What an uplifting story!

    Hey, I found your blog linked on another site. Let me just say, "English majors, join together!" ^_^

  13. Awww hi Sinn! English majors RULE!
    Oh punctuation is sexy.

  14. Fantastic!!!! I'm really glad your night went well, and I am not one to brag but...who told ya to wear the glasses....this guy!!!LOL

    Take the way you feel today and run with it! It will snowball into many many great days to come. You deserve to feel great, you worked hard and it shows!

  15. Guys DO make passes at girls who wear glasses. And it even provided a funny moment.............

    I'm hoping things end up well, but I'm just focused right now on just how jazzed i feel. It's a good feeling. I like being happy. I really really do.

    Thank you for the love and support, vinny! When the day comes when you need it, you bet *this girl* will be there to cheer you on.

  16. You go girl!! I am so happy for you! This guy better realize how luck he is to be in your life!

  17. Aww thanks Brigitte -- and well... no matter what happens I'm just happy I took a chance :)

  18. just found your blog, and it looks like at an awesome time. I understand where you came from. I'm still there! ugh...but I truly do hope that once I start feeling better about myself, that I can let a man in too!

    So happy for you. Congrats on the awesome date!

  19. Well hello Sonya! very nice to meet you.
    Thanks for the congrats!

    I think about all the times i pushed men away b/c I couldn't let them get close to me... and i missed out on so many opportunities of love and friendship because of it.

  20. I gave you an award because I have been enjoying your blog.

    Check it out:

  21. Whee!! *Claps* I love stuff like this. yay!!

  22. Emily -- Thank you so much!! you're a peach!!

    Lori -- **takes a bow** well, hopefully there's more to giggle about... that's up to him.


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<3 Robby