It's Back! **curses to self**

Yep. It's back . My #@$# back pain is back. I don't know what specifically it's from, or whether it's a combination ...

Yep. It's back.
My #@$# back pain is back.

I don't know what specifically it's from, or whether it's a combination of many things:
2. walking around all weekend
3. walking around in flip flops
4. running (I haven't been doing as much weight work lately)

Whatever it is, my back is not happy.  I can feel the inflammation radiating through my lower back in waves of heat and pain. 

It scares me. It really does.
I try to be mindful of it, and not ask too much of my back.  But realisitically speaking, I could herniate a disc getting out of bed, getting out of a chair, or doing nothing at all. 

So where does that put me in terms of my journey?

1. be mindful of the pain, and treat it gently, crying if I need to.
2. be mindful of the depression that comes along with not being able to do stuff
3. don't deal with it by drinking (that's how my mom dealt with her back pain)
4. STRETCH when possible, ICE when needed
5. focus on my diet (fresh fruits and veg, lean protein, water, Vitamin D supplements)
6. hope that resting my back for a few days will help alleviate the pain
and if all of that fails
7. go back to doctors and discuss another round of epidural steroids
8. get MRI to see if I've caused any additional damage
9. get sexy men to carry me every where on a litter
10. hire some maids/assistants to take care of my apartment/errands

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  1. Sounds like you have the perfect plan in place to get through this. I especially like #9 & 10!

  2. 9 & 10 are a little harder to procure, but necessary.

    I mean, I stared at my feet for 3 months straight. Compared to that, this is nothing, but it's preventing me from doing what i want to do. Uberfrustrting.

    As for the plan, it's just making sure i don't backslide into a pit of despair.

  3. Oh, Number Nine for SURE!!

    So sorry, Sweetie for the return of the pain. Take care of it however you need to (except for that drinking thing) and do what you can. Every little bit counts - it really does!

  4. I'm sorry the back pain is back. I can't imagine. You do have a perfect plan in place though. Plans help me get through tough times too. :HUGS, Gentle ones:

  5. SOOOOO SORRY it's hurting again. That's not good. Hopefully the doctors can find out what needs to be done to get better.

  6. OOOH no! not pain! Being mindful of the pain and planning on going to the doctor if it gets worse is a great plan. Definitely don't overexert yourself.

    As far as #9 goes an ad targeted at poor college lacross players would probably work. Or craigslist!

  7. Angela Pea: Too bad you don't have a son my age :) Even at my worst, I tried to walk around as much as I could (even if it was only 10 steps) because i knew that the more i could do while broken, the easier rehab would be.

  8. Crystal -- I'll put it to you this way

    1-10 pain spectrum; 1 being the least pain and 10 being the most pain

    1-2 is pretty standard
    3-4 will make me ease up on physical things
    5-6 means I'll use pain meds (valium and vicodin) because lying down hurts, as well as ice my back 5-6 times a day
    7-8 is when it is hard for me to sit; also has me shuffling to the doctor to talk about (1) if I've done further injury (2) steroids (3) future treatment
    9-10 has me laid up in bed, unable to move, mad at the world.

    I spent 3 months at 7-10, and went to work 90% of the time (wasn't able to go during 9-10 days)

    As for the hugs -- gentle is the way to go. People see me in pain and want to hug me and that just causes more pain, then i have to make THEM feel better. hahahahah

  9. Natalia -- unfortunately I won't be getting "better" -- it's all about pain management.

    The trajectory of this is that I will be one of those old ladies walking around bent over. My spine resembles that of a 50-60 y/o, and i'm only 29.

    I will eventually get a multiple-level spinal fusion, but that will greatly restrict my range of movement. Even with surgery there's no guarantee that the pain will go away (look up "failed back surgery syndrome").

    So it's all about having good days and bad days. I've just had a few bad days in a row.

  10. Mertle -- I know you say that in a very tongue-in-cheek way, but the last time i was laid up in bed, I did go on craigslist and found a very nice man that was interested in cleaning my apartment, especially if I was in bed wearing stilletto heels.

    I didn't take him up on the offer that time around.

  11. I'm sorry to hear that you're having problems. I wish you lived closer to me - cause I could help you out with #9. My cousin is visiting me from England - he's looking for an American woman..LOL He's the kind of guy that would carry you around - very romantic type.

  12. Oh Joanna don't tease me like that.
    English AND romantic??

  13. Ha, love #9. You deserve it too! (where is the genie when you need him?) It's hard to deal with chronic pain so you're that much stronger for having to grin and bear it.

    Joanna, what would it take for your cousin to visit DC? Fat Girl v. World is one of the best hosts anyone will ever meet!

  14. heheheh thanks katie :)
    Always trying to get me some lovin -- ever since I met you, you've been my sex life's #1 fan.

    While I am strong, at some times I just don't want to be strong. i just want a healthy 29 y/o body.

  15. Hope you get better soon! I like the idea of finding sexy men to carry you around ;)

  16. i would like to help with #9

  17. My love, while your back is F****ed YOU sound mentally strong and I know you are going to "manage" your way through it! I'm sending many good vibes your way in the hope the pain starts to ease!!

  18. OK, fine.. I know how to take a hint... *takes t-shirt off, pants off, and grabs litter*

  19. Wow... um... gentlemen... I don't know what to say :)

    I'm the kind of girl who really knows how to make a man feel needed.... like when I need them to tie my sneakers b/c if I bend over to tie them, I might not ever get back up.

  20. Back pain can be such a bummer, but, you seem to have it sorted out in terms of how to get it better. Rest, eat well, and get the docs help. Oh, and we need to see pictures of you on that litter. Not the sexy men, just you on the litter :-)

  21. Thanks for this post. Im sitting here with knee pains feeling sorry for myself, but what I really need to do is make a plan (I like your #9 and #10). Hope you have more of the good days soon.

  22. Patrick- back pain is a bummer. That's the word for it. I'm just impatient to get better. Once i have the litter, I'll be sure to have pictures taken of me reclining.

    Lynn -- feeling sorry for yourself has a place. We should treat ourselves gently even when what we're going through is negative. Good luck with the plan and let me know if you find a ready source for #9 and #10.


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<3 Robby