FatGirl vs World

So I write this big long post yesterday about how I'm stuck in the gym for my running cause of my back.

Today I forgot my sports bras at home, so if I wanted to run, I'd have to go back home to get my bras, then go back to the gym.  But I didn't want to go back to the gym.  So I mapped out a 3.5 mile walk.

And then decided to not walk.

I ran on hard ground for the first time in a very long time (since 2006).  (even though it wasn't very fast, it's still running, darnit!)

It wasn't the fastest run.  It wasn't the most glorious run.  And I'm pretty sure that some part of my body is going to be sore tomorrow.  But the point was that I got out there and did something I didn't think I could do.

It still holds true that compression is not good for me, and that I shouldn't run on hard ground all the time, for long periods of time, or in a way that could hurt my back.  But so long as I'm mindful of these things, it's up to me to balance what I want to be doing in my life versus how much life I want to miss out on because of something that will happen eventually in my life.

I talk big game about #GoTheDist and this year's theme ("rebuild yourself") -- but maybe part of it is challenging ourselves to confront what we think are limits are.  I'm not saying we should go out and injure ourselves, but we should aim to discover just how exceptional we each are, how capable our bodies are, and how liberating it is to just let our body determine what it can do versus letting our mind sell ourselves short.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll be a part of a running pack after all.

In the #GoTheDist 2013 announcement post I didn't include 2 things:  (1) a graphic (2) a theme.  People have asked me about both.  Truth is that I was so distracted by my injury/surgery, that I failed to come up with these two things.  I've corrected my lapse: 

Image at:  http://bit.ly/ViJS8U

Truth is that I didn't look far for this theme.  Everyone has been joking about me being bionic now.  If you know a little TV history about the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman and the tag line "We can rebuild him...we have the technology." 

To a degree we're all trying to rebuild -- we're trying to change the habits that didn't do us any favors, we're trying to recover from injuries, we're trying to be better today than we were yesterday.  And we all have the technology at our fingertips.  We have the knowledge and support that will make the changes possible.

I would love how to hear how you interpret this theme for yourself....

It also reminds me of my family motto -- which i'd love to share with you all: 

How to Join #GoTheDist 2013:

1. Click on the SUMMARY PAGE (bookmarking it would be a good idea as you will be using it often).

2. Fill out the next available line on the "Summary" spreadsheet.  You are responsible for filling out your biographical information (columns A–D), your tracking modality and goal (columns E and F), your quarterly goals (columns G, J, M, and P), and your half-year and full-year rewards (columns T and V).  

3. **CREATE YOUR INDIVIDUAL PAGE** (The information you have entered in step 2 should auto-complete to an individual page.  Check your line number and then look at the bottom of the page.  Match up your line number and double check that your information is correct).

4. Rename the tab "@[twitter name]" or if you don't have Twitter "[nickname]" 

5. Fill out the sheet as you wish.  See step #8.

6. Update your own individual page as needed (if tracking is too hard, consider printing out your page and filling it out by hand and updating it online once a week). The total mileage will automatically be updated on the Summary tab as you report on your individual page.

7. Follow #GoTheDist on Twitter for support if you need it or to support others when they do, to announce achievements, and find new/old friends!

8. PLEASE DO NOT DELETE LINES OR TABS! Do not SORT.  If you want to add columns, please add them to the RIGHT of the page.  Please do NOT move your page around! You CAN bookmark your individual page using your browser to find it easily.

---

At the end of each month (or year) consider answering these questions:

• How do you think you did over the course of the month?  
• Did you overestimate or underestimate your capabilities?  Why is this?  Is this representative of a larger trend in your life?
• Did you learn anything about yourself while doing this? 
• Can you apply what you've learned in #GoTheDist somewhere else in your life? 
• Did you make any new friends through #GoTheDist -- were you able to support each other?
• What was the hardest part of the challenge?  (physical? mental/psychological?)
• What do you think you did really well this month? (doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• What do you think you could improve on? (again, doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• No matter the numbers you already entered, are you going to finish strong, or taper off? 
• Did you go the distance? And no, I don't mean did you hit 100% of your goal... did you put yourself out there and really try for it?  Is 80% still something you can be proud of?

1.  Congrats to all those that have met and/or exceeded their goals!

2.  Congrats to all those that got very very close! (80% to 99% of their goal)

All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me...You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.  ~ Walt Disney

4.  Please leave a reply to this post if you're part of the #GoTheDist challenge with your weekly target number -- what's the breakdown for you?  What do you need to do in 26 weeks to either hit your yearly or half-year goal?  (I need to run 19.23 miles a week to hit my yearly goal, or 17.3 if I am going to hit my 6-month goal.  Both are entirely attainable) Talk to me! Talk to each other! Let's support each other through this.  If you've seen success, give back to someone that needs help.

5.  Check out the questions on the end of the original #GoTheDist 2012 Challenge -- and perhaps answer them in a blog post, or even just for yourself.  I've found those questions to be very helpful in keeping my head in the game -- especially the question of "where's the line in your mind between success and failure?"

6.  Meditate on how you want to feel on December 31, 2012.  Let that be your guide.  Meditate on how you felt on your worst day.  Let that be your inspiration to do better, even if it's only 10 feet more, 10 minutes more.  Breathe deeply, you've got this.  #GoTheDist isn't meant to cause anxiety, it's meant to help you feel free and victorious.  Forgive yourself if you need to.

**waves**
Remember me? The person that used to post multiple times a day just last year? Hah! Not anymore!

What follows is a mish-mosh of things going on in my life and in my head.

1.  So remember this post about the blue dress?  Well, I wore it to my cousin's wedding this past weekend.  Apparently between the dress and my hair, I was unrecognizable to a few family members.  More than a few people wondered who I was, couldn't recognize me, or thought my dad had brought some hot date.  **falls over giggling** But best of all was my grandpa.  When I walked over to say hi to him, he said to me "Well here comes danger."  Hah!

2. Every time I get tea from the break room, I always think about my mom.  I learned to drink tea the Irish way with her -- three sugars and milk.  Years of three sugars and milk.  Even my coworkers at the Irish bar where I used to work made tea the same way.  Emily made tea the same way for me once.  It was a bit of a shock to see people drink tea with one spoonful of sugar or honey, and no milk or with lemon.  You know, kids learn what they live (both healthy and unhealthy habits) -- and sometimes as an adult we have to un-learn the bad habits.

3.  I like this article -- and especially this quote:  The action has to come first. You have to take the action before you know where it's going to lead you without knowing the outcome and irrespective of your mind-set or how you feel at the time. ~Rich Roll  I think it's very much like how Buddhists believe that control creates suffering -- if you're focused on an outcome, you stop seeing possibilities. And then there's the whole idea of "fake it til you make it" -- that sometimes the momentum of action leads to a change in behavior.

4.  #GoTheDist Stuff!! 
So many of you have been freaking out about the numbers.  Not just like "Eh, I don't think I'll hit 100%, but ZOMG!! IF I DON'T HIT 100% IT WILL BE ALL FOR NAUGHT!"  Crazypants people. Absolutely crazypants.  

First, how about a healthy dose of perspective -- how much would you be doing if not for the challenge?  How much were you doing this time last year?  Where's the line (in your mind) between success and failure?  It's not the numbers you need to freak out about, it's about how you choose to approach this.  You can either let it overwhelm you, or you can just say "you know what? I'm going to CHOOSE to do what I can, and I'm going to CHOOSE to be proud of what I do."   That applies whether you've completed 1% of your goal, 10% of your goal, 50% of your goal, 80% of your goal or 100% or more of your goal. 

Secondly, I want to talk numbers with you and I'd love to get some feedback.
How did you come up with your yearly goal, your quarterly goals and your monthly breakdowns? 

I looked at my mileage from last year (I calculated from October 2010-October 2011, or 254 miles), factored in my neck injury (I'd need some time in the beginning of the year to rehab), added a bit to make it a bit of a challenge and I came up with 800 miles.  To allow for rehab, I broke down my mileage into two halves -- the first half would be 350 miles, and the second half would be 450 miles.  I thought 300/500 would have been too lopsided of a split.  To do 350 miles in the first 26 weeks, I'd need to average a very manageable 13.5 miles a week on the elliptical.  Because I was unable to run in January, February, and half of March, I knew I had to haul ass during the second quarter (April, May, June).  The second half of the year works out to be about 17 miles a week.  Even with my injuries, I know 17 miles is doable.  If I come up short, I'll know that I did what I could.  If I end up going over that goal, I'll be okay with it because I know I afforded my body the time to rehab. 

So how did you set your goals? Did you look at what you've done in the past as a way to inform what you want to do in the future, or did you pull the number out of thin air?  I'm not trying to be judgey.  Your number is your own, but if you're not hitting your goals (or even if you're surpassing it by too much) are you being honest with yourself, your actions, your abilities, and your focus?

I'll repeat a phrase I love saying (regarding just about anything) DO THE MATH.
Don't pick goals out of thin air.
Don't pick daily calorie intake restrictions out of thin air.
Don't pick workout goals out of thin air.
Don't pick a random number of lbs to lose before you feel victorious.

5.  I've been thinking a lot about @KCLAnderson's post "Choose Your Easy" and my own reaction to it.   She was talking about the photo to the right -- "choose your hard."

It reminded me of the Buddhist aphorism:

Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.

It also reminds me of the idea of the Second Arrow as well -- because the picture to the right isn't just about the physical aspects, now is it?  The subtext, in my opinion, is that choosing to lose weight and address the psychological issues behind it is hard (not just the physical act of dropping lbs).  Choosing to change all of your behaviors for the rest of your life is a hard choice to make (not just finding the time to get to the gym or reading every nutritional label). 

The picture suggest that while losing weight is hard, that staying fat is harder.  I don't think so.  I think the climb up from rock bottom is the hardest.  Being in a body that you have not treated with reverence and love is absolutely crushing some days.

I think that choosing to let go of the judgments that have prevented our actions is what's really hard.

If you've had "The Epiphany" you know I'm partially right.  While I think it's easier for someone to say they decided to lose weight because they were "tired of being fat," I suspect that the real reason was because they realized that fat or not that they were worth the air they breathed and the space they occupied in this world.  It's about New Rule 4b:  I am on this journey because of the courage I had when I took the first step.  Every step after that first one has been full of joy regardless of how my body aches or how much sweat is forming a river down my back. 

Most of us have chosen to end one way we've been suffering (our poor health) and take up the temporary pains that will ultimately liberate us from that suffering.  In regards to the second arrow -- we deliberately choose the pain to which we expose ourselves.  Sore muscles.  Blisters on our feet.  Callouses on our hands.  Early mornings.  Passing up the ice cream sundae.  But we have also learned to not judge ourselves or others for it.  There's no more second arrow when we say "That's okay, I'm going to do what's right for me."  I don't know about you, but I felt so unburdened the first time I stood in a bar and told a friend "You know what? I'd rather be in the gym" and she said "Well, go do it then!"

I think that when we decide to step out of our own way, we begin to be believe that nothing is hard (and thus not worth exploring).   Sure, some days are a challenge.  Some hills are steeper.  Some choices are more plan than impulse.  But when we choose to believe in our own self  we both broaden our knowledge of what is and is not possible and deepen our ability to trust ourselves.

But when you step out of your own way, you discard any judgement of hard or easy. 
All that's left is "This is what I need to do.  This is where I need to be.   This is who I am.  This is right for me."  You are not swimming against the current (hard), being swept up by the current (easy); you are the current.

No judgment.  No fear.  Just one day at a time.  One foot in front of the other.

Don't "Choose Your Hard"
Just choose yourself.
Choose your journey.

6.  Don't you hate it when you try to write a short entry and this happens?

Yesterday, I asked the #GoTheDist Participants how they were doing. 
I got a few replies from people saying that they were right on point, and a few replies saying that the participant needed to get back "on track" after going "off track."

This is something I've wanted to write about for a while.  It's something I talk about all the time.
I think weight loss has four parts, and I've listed them below in order of importance (in my humble opinion):

• Mental Work -- 15%
• Food -- 50%
• Exercise -- 25%
• Rest -- 10%

I'm of the Michael Pollan school of thought when it comes to food -- "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."  In other words, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, minimize the meat, and eliminate the processed junk.  Eat food that fuels your workout.

But more than that, you MUST do the math.  Know your caloric expenditure by measuring it with the BodyMedia armband, or estimating it with the FitBit.  If you don't have the money, estimate it using BMR x HBE.

Once you know how many calories you burn during a day, work backwards.  One pound is 3500 calories.  Either you need to burn an extra 3500 calories a week, decrease your caloric consumption by 3500 calories a week, or a mix of both.

To do this successfully, you must food log.  Once you've done it for a while (3 months minimum), you'll see that you've retrained your eyes, your appetite, your palate, and your idea of portion sizes.  The Center for Disease Control says that people who food log are more likely to lose weight and keep it off.

Exercise:
Exercise is going to look different for everyone -- the only thing I really want to say about this is that you should feel joyful when you're exercising.  Yeah, it sucks when you're first doing it:  your mind will play tricks on your body, you'll sweat from places you didn't know were possible, and you will wish for a quick death because you are so sore, but be thankful for this opportunity to move.  If being injured has taught me anything, it's that being able to move is a blessing. 

So, do what you can.  Do it as often as you can.  Be joyful that you can.

Rest:
Rome wasn't built in a day.  Neither is this new body you're carving for yourself.  You have to have downtime (sleep and rest days) to allow your body to recuperate from the exercise that you're asking it to do.  Everyone needs a different amount of sleep time.  Just make sure you plan for it.  You plan for your long run or your lifting session.  Plan for rest as well.


SO.... that brings me back to my original topic about being "on track"
When you can't focus on one part of the journey, there are three other parts needing your attention.
If you feel like you've derailed, consider whether you've completely derailed or if you're letting a challenge in one area infect the others. 

Are you letting a failure in one of the four areas constitute a total failure?
Are you giving up without a fight?

I originally started this blog as a way to stand up for my wonderful fat self, to say that just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I am a bad person, lazy, or a failure.  Along the way, my blog became less about my own personal journey (though I still write about that) and more about the things I've learned.   I'm honored when people tell me that I motivate or inspire them, and I'm humbled when say that I've put words to their pain, their struggle, their journey.

Because of all of this, I do think that I understand the whole Clark Kent/Superman dichotomy a little better.  There's Robby -- the vulnerable person that still struggles, succeeds, and learns and there's FGvW -- the Superhero that advocates for the journey, the ideals, the pursuit of health.

The hardest part for Robby is when FGvW wants to speak up in Robby's personal life. 

Case-in-point: 
Someone close to Robby said something along the lines of "I need a full-length mirror to remind myself of how disgusting I am.  That will motivate me."

Robby understands that.  Robby has been there.
Robby understands how hard it is to "make love of yourself perfect."  (the June 2011 #GoTheDist Challenge was by all accounts one of the hardest I asked people to undertake.)

But FatGirlvsWorld knows that if you start this journey from a place of self-hatred, that you will fail.
FatGirlvsWorld also knows that the only way you succeed in the weightloss/healthgain journey is if you start from a place of overwhelming love and acceptance.

Robby wishes that she could wrap that up in a little package and give the gift of the epiphany to other people. FGvW knows that the epiphany comes about as a result of either exhausting all the other options, or doing the hard work of fighting all your demons.

So Robby stands by, and hopes that the people she loves are inspired by the path she has taken, that they see the person she was and the superhero she has become and they decide that they want in on it. 

In other news ...

Last night I wrote on my (personal) facebook page

November/December/January/February were hard -- not being able to exercise, feeling broken, and not knowing what the future held for me/my health -- but after running my 107th mile this month, I think I finally believe that I can handle whatever the universe throws my way.
Bring it.

I feel like I've turned a corner on this injury -- not that I'm 100% healed, just that I'm not so handicapped by my mind.  I'm (rightfully) letting my body take the lead.

Also ...

I noticed that there was a typo on my last post.  Normally I'd go back and change it, but I think there might be a little bit of wisdom in it:   I meant to say "Lift like you've never lifted before" and instead it came out as "Lift life you've never lifted before."

Now, I have no idea what my brain meant by "lift life" -- but somewhere between my brain and fingers, I think I was trying to tell myself something.  In meditating on this, I remembered the book "The Things They Carried," in which Tim O'Brien describes soldiers in the Vietnam War by what they carried physically, mentally, and emotionally.  More often than not, they came across as burdens and weight that brought them closer to their own mortality. 

I wondered if the weightloss/healthgain journey can be likened to a war -- where we have to decide whether the things we carry with us (and more importantly the weight we carry on our bodies) are bringing us closer to life or bringing us closer to death.

Was "Lift life you've never lifted before" a challenge to engage life and elevate that engagement to a place higher and more important than our ties to our own burdens?

Make no mistake:

How to Join #GoTheDist 2012:

1. Click on the SUMMARY PAGE (bookmarking it would be a good idea as you will be using it often).

2. Fill out the next available line on the "Summary" spreadsheet.  You are responsible for filling out your biographical information (columns A–D), your tracking modality and goal (columns E and F), your quarterly goals (columns G, J, M, and P), and your half-year and full-year rewards (columns T and V).  

3. **CREATE YOUR INDIVIDUAL PAGE** (The information you have entered in step 2 should auto-complete to an individual page.  Check your line number and then look at the bottom of the page.  Match up your line number and double check that your information is correct).

4. Rename the tab "@[twitter name]" or if you don't have Twitter "[nickname]"  I will fill in the formulas to complete the Summary Page as needed (please do not tinker if you are unfamiliar with formulas).

5. Fill out the sheet as you wish.  See step #8.

6. Update your own individual page as needed (if tracking is too hard, consider printing out your page and filling it out by hand and updating it online once a week). The total mileage will automatically be updated on the Summary tab as you report on your individual page.

7. Follow #GoTheDist on Twitter for support if you need it or to support others when they do, to announce achievements, and find new/old friends!

8. PLEASE DO NOT DELETE LINES ON THE SUMMARY PAGE OR TABS! Do not SORT.  
Please contact me via email or twitter if you want to be removed or you're unsure of how to use the spreadsheet.  If you want to add columns, please add them to the RIGHT of the page.  Please do NOT move your page around! You CAN bookmark your individual page using your browser to find it easily.

---

I'm also quite happy to see how #GoTheDist and #MeFirst can work hand-in-hand.  Consider taking the #MeFirst pledge!  #GoTheDist is also a friend of MeYouHealth and their Daily Challenges.

So grab your #GoTheDist buttons, use the hash tags for each month, and get out there! We're all behind you!

At the end of the month/quarter/half consider answering these questions:

• How do you think you did over the course of the quarter?  
• Did you overestimate or underestimate your capabilities?  Why is this?  Is this representative of a larger trend in your life?
• Did you learn anything about yourself while doing this? 
• Can you apply what you've learned in #GoTheDist somewhere else in your life? 
• Did you make any new friends through #GoTheDist -- were you able to support each other?
• What was the hardest part of the challenge?  (physical? mental/psychological?)
• What do you think you did really well this quarter? (doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• What do you think you could improve on? (again, doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• No matter the numbers you already entered, are you going to finish strong, or taper off? 
• Did you go the distance? And no, I don't mean did you hit 100% of your goal... did you put yourself out there and really try for it?  Is 80% still something you can be proud of?

The motivation for the dogs goes right to their breed -- huskies and malamutes were bred for their strength, their stamina, their disposition, and mostly their desire to run.  They are amazing athletes in their own right (for example, The average Alaskan husky running in the Iditarod burns about 11,000 calories a day. To put that in perspective, compare a 44-pound dog with a 175- to 180-pound human in an endurance event like the (Tour de France) bicycle race. On a body-weight basis, an Iditarod racer eats and burns about eight times as much as a Tour de France cyclist.), but when working with the right set of other dogs, they are a precision team.  Lead dogs, swing dogs, team dogs. and wheel dogs need to work together, but are chosen to fit certain roles.

I don't know what the motivation for the human is, because the prize money pales to the cost of maintaining the team.  But I'm willing to bet it is the same for many other athletes -- to push the boundaries of what they know or think they can do, and then go further; to say they are among the elite.

I often get a little mopey when I realize that because of my back, I'll never be able to participate in the kinds of races listed above -- but I have my own pack to run with:  my #GoTheDist team.  It doesn't matter if we're pursuing different modalities, the goal is the same:  to cross the finish line each month, doing what we set out to do.  When one of us succeeds and meets our goals, we all do.  That's my motivation.  That's what I carry with me when I'm in the gym busting my butt to beat my PRs, or even to just put in the time.  It's all about remembering that nifty little point about self-efficacy -- when we see similarly-situated people (i.e. our peers) succeed, we know we can as well.  (And we all know what it's like to fall short of a finish line and have our team love us all the same.)

---

How to Join:
1. Click on the SUMMARY PAGE (bookmarking it would be a good idea as you will be using it often).

2. Fill out the next available line on the "Summary" spreadsheet (do not use Columns F or G, J or K -- they will automatically calculate once link your sheet).  I repeat.... START ON THE SUMMARY PAGE!

3. **CREATE YOUR INDIVIDUAL PAGE** (Look at the line you filled out on the SUMMARY PAGE -- find the corresponding number on the bottom of the screen.  This is your individual page!).

4. Rename the tab "@[twitter name]" or if you don't have Twitter "[nickname]"  (If you want to link your page back to summary spreadsheet, go for it.  It's a huge help. Column F will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!D43  Column J will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!E43)

5. Fill out the sheet as you wish.

6. Update your own individual page as needed (if tracking is too hard, consider printing out your page and filling it out by hand and updating it online once a week). The total mileage will automatically be updated on the Summary tab as you report on your individual page.

7. Follow #GoTheDist on Twitter for support if you need it or to support others when they do, to announce achievements, and find new/old friends!

8. PLEASE DO NOT DELETE LINES OR TABS! Do not SORT.  If you want to add columns, please add them to the RIGHT of the page.  Please do NOT move your page around! You CAN bookmark your individual page using your browser to find it easily.

---

I'm also quite happy to see how #GoTheDist and #MeFirst can work hand-in-hand.  Consider taking the #MeFirst pledge! Also, check out the #MeFirst Blog!

So grab your #GoTheDist buttons, use the hash tags for each month, and get out there! We're all behind you!

At the end of the month consider answering these questions:

• How do you think you did over the course of the month?  
• Did you overestimate or underestimate your capabilities?  Why is this?  Is this representative of a larger trend in your life?
• Did you learn anything about yourself while doing this? 
• Can you apply what you've learned in ##GoTheDist somewhere else in your life? 
• Did you make any new friends through #GoTheDist -- were you able to support each other?
• What was the hardest part of the challenge?  (physical? mental/psychological?)
• What do you think you did really well this month? (doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• What do you think you could improve on? (again, doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• No matter the numbers you already entered, are you going to finish strong, or taper off? 
• Did you go the distance? And no, I don't mean did you hit 100% of your goal... did you put yourself out there and really try for it?  Is 80% still something you can be proud of?

Again, so sorry for the delay in getting this up.  Sometimes life takes precedence over spreadsheets, yanno?

Right click and "copy link location" or "save image as" to use in your blog/journal.

One of the things I love about Thanksgiving were the traditions in my family. 

On my dad's side of the family, my recollection is that every Easter we played Whiffle Ball, but every Thanksgiving we played basketball and then Trivial Pursuit or Charades.  And while the dinner was amazing, the focus was mainly on dessert and the variation of pies that people brought.  I think once we had 26 people and 21 different pies.   My dad was known for his apple and mincemeat pies, grandma had dibs on the cherry pie making, and then there were the additions of Irish Whiskey (Cream) Pie and Gobble Pie as kids got older and family members were added.

On my mom's side of the family, a normal routine took on extra special meaning because of the day and the number of family members around the table.  We'd all say what we were thankful for.  Some people were profound (being thankful for health and love) and some people were a bit more mundane (my brother was usually thankful for forks).

My (second) cousin on that side issued a challenge to her Facebook friends to do a gratitude project during this month, and I'm going to follow suit.  My time in the gym is always a time of work but also of introspection.  I'm deeply grateful for each day my body gives me to move and change my life.

---

How to Join:

1. Click on the SUMMARY PAGE (bookmarking it would be a good idea as you will be using it often).

2. Fill out the next available line on the "Summary" spreadsheet (do not use Columns F or G, J or K -- they will automatically calculate once link your sheet).

3. **CREATE YOUR INDIVIDUAL PAGE** (This is a NEW step. Duplicate the "Participant Sheet." If you're comfortable working in spreadsheets you can edit it where it should repeat your personal information. The formula line will look something like "=Summary!A2" -- replace the 2 with whatever line you are on the summary spreadsheet. For =Summary!B2 do the same, etc.).

4. Rename the tab "@[twitter name]" or if you don't have Twitter "[nickname]"  (If you want to link your page back to summary spreadsheet, go for it.  It's a huge help. Column F will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!D43  Column J will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!E43)

5. Fill out the sheet as you wish.

6. Update your own individual page as needed (if tracking is too hard, consider printing out your page and filling it out by hand and updating it online once a week). The total mileage will automatically be updated on the Summary tab as you report on your individual page.

7. Follow #GoTheDist on Twitter for support if you need it or to support others when they do, to announce achievements, and find new/old friends!

8. PLEASE DO NOT DELETE LINES OR TABS! Do not SORT.  If you want to add columns, please add them to the RIGHT of the page.  Please do NOT move your page around! You CAN bookmark your individual page using your browser to find it easily.

---

I'm also quite happy to see how #GoTheDist and #MeFirst can work hand-in-hand.  Consider taking the #MeFirst pledge!

So grab your #GoTheDist buttons, use the hash tags for each month, and get out there! We're all behind you!

At the end of the month consider answering these questions:

• How do you think you did over the course of the month?  
• Did you overestimate or underestimate your capabilities?  Why is this?  Is this representative of a larger trend in your life?
• Did you learn anything about yourself while doing this? 
• Can you apply what you've learned in #GoTheDist somewhere else in your life? 
• Did you make any new friends through #GoTheDist -- were you able to support each other?
• What was the hardest part of the challenge?  (physical? mental/psychological?)
• What do you think you did really well this month? (doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• What do you think you could improve on? (again, doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• No matter the numbers you already entered, are you going to finish strong, or taper off? 
• Did you go the distance? And no, I don't mean did you hit 100% of your goal... did you put yourself out there and really try for it?  Is 80% still something you can be proud of?

So I've been thinking about the challenge I posted for October #GoTheDist:


Every day we have a chance to make new choices and decide who we want to be.   We can stay on the path we're on, turn around and run away screaming, or try a new approach.

And yet somehow we always feel locked into our identity, completely forgetting how forgiving our sense of self/identity can be or that we lived through the formation of our identities in the first place (are you the same person you were in your HS yearbook?).  Just think about the person who can't see past their weight.  Think about how stuck they are in that identity.

We forget that our identities are as flexible ("characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements") as they are malleable ("able to be hammered or pressed permanently out of shape without breaking or cracking") as they are resilient ("able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions").

The catch is that it requires some extraordinary vision and a leap of faith:  in order to take on a new identity, we have to know how we want to look and have the courage to slough off our old identity (our armor) long enough to try on a new one.

I tweeted the other day:


I want to be that person. I really do.  I envision that person doesn't feel the same kind of struggle that I feel. 

So I'm going to try and take my own advice and (1) envision what it would be like to live that life and (2) have the confidence that if I act like that person that I'll still be okay, still be me.

My wanting to be a pretty pretty princess will just have to wait until I slay this dragon.

Read this if you have no idea what the heck I'm talking about:  October #GTD Announcement.
This month we might be small in numbers (only 25 participants, as compared to the 69 that did it last October), but we are mighty in results! 

I wanted to remind you about two mid-month posts last year in regards to the original challenge:

1.  Balance (quoting): 

First and foremost: you should NEVER feel guilty for listening to your body--even if it says "we need to sit this out for a week." If you are sick/injured, figure out how to get yourself better and then we'll worry about the miles, okay? #OctGTD, no matter how awesome it is, is not worth risking your health and well-being.


But has it ever crossed your mind that it's okay to come up short in the challenge? It's okay to not reach your mileage goal. It's okay to get to the end of the month and come up shy. This is the lesson we all have to learn: it is okay to set goals and make plans and not be able to complete them 100%.

2. Know Yourself (paraphrasing):

Know Your Body -- work with your body, not against it
Know Your Math -- know what the exercise "costs" your body
Know Your Fuel -- know how to payback that "cost"
Know Your Life -- make a plan before you take on a challenge and be flexible with it.

I also wanted to share with you the updates regarding the original October #GoTheDist crew.  The question was: "How are you and looking back, what did #OctGTD (now #GotheDist) do for you? Are you the same person you were a year ago?"

Dee Matt (@abtw85):

"I totally got off track for a few months along the way since then, but I do notice that I have been alot more self motivated to push myself further then I did prior to octgtd. I can't believe its been a year. I'm also at least 30+ lbs lighter :). I've learned to also limit myself on making excuses."


Vinny (@VinnySlavin):

"I am a lighter person than I was a year ago, that's for sure! Hopefully smarter and more informed as well."



Brigitte (@brigittemittler):

"Last October, I used the GTD to run a 10k.  I am doing that same 10k tomorrow as preparation for running my very first Half-Marathon later this month.  I have learned that pushing past your comfort zone can lead you to accomplish incredible things."


Robby (@fatgirlvsworld):

"I'm definitely not the same person.  Many challenges and hundreds of miles later, I'm no longer the same person.  I'm much stronger, and much more confident in my ability to achieve my goals.  Even if I don't reach the targets, I know that each month is a journey.  I have discovered my grit, found my fight, and am convinced that i made the change of a lifetime."

If you participated in the original challenge and want to add your thougts click on this link, find your name, and ruminate!

Or in my case, 553.89 miles.

October — 120.16 (exceeded goal)
November — 35.8
December — 49.5
January — 20.13
February — 102.1 (exceeded goal)
March — 103.7 (exceeded goal)
April — 0 (rut roh)
May — 27
June — 10
July — 10
August — 21.5
September — 54

As you can see, there were good months and bad months (things got hard as I tried to balance boxing and running). BUT... That is the most miles I've ever run in a year.  Heck, it's probably more miles than I've run in the previous 29 years of my life combined. 

In other words. VICTORY!! I can't wait to see what I can do in the next 12 months (or rather, the next three and then... the NEW YEAR).

Yep, that's right -- it's the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the ORIGINAL #OctGTD Challenge (it's now #GoTheDist).  How time flies runs/walks/bikes/swims, right?  See GTD for more history behind #GoTheDist!

I'm super proud of anyone who has signed up—regardless of the miles they have put in or the number of months they participated—and extra proud of the people who saw the month through.  What we learned is that the challenge wasn't about the distance, but rather the journey.  I never knew just how much the simple concept of "let's not measure ourselves in pounds" would take off and change lives.  Kudos us.  We're awesome.

I was thinking about doing a throwback regarding October (going themeless) but it's become one of my favorite parts of the challenge.  It gives me something to think about when I'm running, or even when I wake up.  So... without further delay, I present...


<"a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ap5ByzNXXC9NdEZxSm1tZllneU5zZU56cWhEd3hJNVE&hl=en_US#gid=0"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0tg4JnIUYiUbTaz62K3IrC0FdCVLefFworqgMmTenzn23N4Apg_jfFBE_U5xkHIVQycYz4v53_fNfTvR_r5IxwxrRgmgcvGtusEj8ZqFNwrQ7wEeDSLnMB_ONeoGW4pHDJYes2FbLuRs/s320/mask.jpg" height="300" border="0">
The first thing I think of when I change my calendar to October is HALLOWEEN! Remember when you were a kid, you'd start planning your halloween costume as you were going through the current year's candy haul? Well, that's what I did. All through the year I'd think of different things I'd want to be for halloween, from the predictable to the extraordinary.

But they all represented things I thought I was unable to manifest in myself, except through putting on a costume: the dignity, beauty, and grace of a princess; the strength and virtue of a superhero; the intelligence and badass dance moves of a robot, etc.

So this month I want to think about what you fantasize(d) about being for Halloween, either as a kid or even now and what those things represented to you.  Who could you be in those costumes that you couldn't be in your own skin?  And if possible, try to be those things (you determine the extent) without having to hide behind a mask.  You can be a princess, a hero, a robot, a cowboy, or an astronaut without having to ever change your clothes—just change your attitude.

---

How to Join:

1. Click on the SUMMARY PAGE (bookmarking it would be a good idea as you will be using it often).

2. Fill out the next available line on the "Summary" spreadsheet (do not use Columns F or G, J or K -- they will automatically calculate once link your sheet).

3. **CREATE YOUR INDIVIDUAL PAGE** (This is a NEW step. Duplicate the "Participant Sheet." If you're comfortable working in spreadsheets you can edit it where it should repeat your personal information. The formula line will look something like "=Summary!A2" -- replace the 2 with whatever line you are on the summary spreadsheet. For =Summary!B2 do the same, etc.).

4. Rename the tab "@[twitter name]" or if you don't have Twitter "[nickname]"  (If you want to link your page back to summary spreadsheet, go for it.  It's a huge help. Column F will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!D43  Column J will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!E43)

5. Fill out the sheet as you wish.

6. Update your own individual page as needed (if tracking is too hard, consider printing out your page and filling it out by hand and updating it online once a week). The total mileage will automatically be updated on the Summary tab as you report on your individual page.

7. Follow #GoTheDist on Twitter for support if you need it or to support others when they do, to announce achievements, and find new/old friends!

8. PLEASE DO NOT DELETE LINES OR TABS! Do not SORT.  If you want to add columns, please add them to the RIGHT of the page.  Please do NOT move your page around! You CAN bookmark your individual page using your browser to find it easily.

---

I'm also quite happy to see how #GoTheDist and #MeFirst can work hand-in-hand.  Consider taking the #MeFirst pledge!

So grab your #GoTheDist buttons, use the hash tags for each month, and get out there! We're all behind you!

At the end of the month consider answering these questions:

• How do you think you did over the course of the month?  
• Did you overestimate or underestimate your capabilities?  Why is this?  Is this representative of a larger trend in your life?
• Did you learn anything about yourself while doing this? 
• Can you apply what you've learned in #GoTheDist somewhere else in your life? 
• Did you make any new friends through #GoTheDist -- were you able to support each other?
• What was the hardest part of the challenge?  (physical? mental/psychological?)
• What do you think you did really well this month? (doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• What do you think you could improve on? (again, doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• No matter the numbers you already entered, are you going to finish strong, or taper off? 
• Did you go the distance? And no, I don't mean did you hit 100% of your goal... did you put yourself out there and really try for it?  Is 80% still something you can be proud of?

You know, someone asked me very early on "so... you just trust people to report their #GoTheDist numbers accurately?" 

Of course I do.
Why?
(1) I'm a very trusting person (and I try to surround myself with trustworthy people); and
(2) I'm not the one they're screwing if they artificially inflate their numbers.

Same goes for food logging -- who do you screw if you over/under report your calorie intake? It's not me. It's not your doctor, your trainer, or your dietitian.  It's YOU.

But trust me when I tell you this:  it's okay if you don't have the best workout or eat a little too much.  Pay attention to the trends. Pay attention to how you feel.  And then LEARN.  Put it in the context of "when I do ______________, I feel _____________."

When I run 5 miles, I feel awesome.
When I eat over my calorie target, I feel guilty when it's junk food.
When I look at the day as a whole, I feel confident that I can do better tomorrow.

This is how you go the distance-- small little steps and mental adjustments that add up piece by piece.

I really can't introduce this in any other way than repeating that this is the story I'm always trying to tell (and never seem to get right) as well as the hardest story I have to tell:

---

August #GoTheDist

For me it was an unfocused personal mess... Though I didn't meet either of my exercise targets and gained 5lbs, I achieved the theme of celebrating.  Between my birthday, my brother's wedding, my dad's birthday, a few other birthdays in the family and among friends, I definitely had lots of joy in my life (as well as some frustration for added contrast).

For some people it was yet another victorious month (how do YOU define it?).  Congrats to @Bambi_P, @OfftheDlistM, @phatteri, @x_factor, @dubyawife, and @siobhanmpalmer who all either reached their targets, or got really effing close.  Kudos to those who suck with it and put forth some noble effort.

---

September #GoTheDist



<a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ap5ByzNXXC9NdERtU1ZaUktmbGVicVllUEhWOFpfV2c#gid=0"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyExc2LnLgRUIrIQrukXkvVMzir_LKlCqy_wIQ68bJe4KuenAFrOF__KWqyzhSFzJCUcXAK15lcQdcVtgbTRBVdCzL2K5shcXop4afSmxTjnOMemFklLTyABU5jbXkxs7SpPk6ntdMcUw/s320/buddha.jpg" height="300" border="0"></a>
One of the recent themes of my blog/life has been failure and truth as well as how they relate to each other.  As usual when I'm feeling down, I turn to The Buddha, or Buddhist texts for some insight.  Why is this?  Look at the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, or even the new guy, the Karmapa Lama:  they seem to witness so much suffering in their own personal lives or those of their countrymen and peers and yet they find a way to smile from the very depths of their hearts. I figure they know something.  And I want to know what they know.

It becomes almost circular at some point with Buddhism.  For all of the teachings, for all of the teachers, there is an intrinsic sense of truth that cannot be coerced into being.  It blossoms with time and experience, knowledge and examination, patience and curiosity.  It's what some people call faith, some call noumenon.  Just one day it arrives and yet it had always been there.

So for September's theme, my question is "What is your personal truth; what is true to you today?" It doesn't have to be deep or serious, but it does have to be genuine. How can you (further) bring sincerity and truth into your weightloss/healthgain/fitness/life journey? Borrow a truth if you need one, or need some inspiration.

---

How to Join:

1. Click on the SUMMARY PAGE (bookmarking it would be a good idea as you will be using it often).

2. Fill out the next available line on the "Summary" spreadsheet (do not use Columns F or G, J or K -- they will automatically calculate once link your sheet).

3. **CREATE YOUR INDIVIDUAL PAGE** (This is a NEW step. Duplicate the "Participant Sheet." If you're comfortable working in spreadsheets you can edit it where it should repeat your personal information. The formula line will look something like "=Summary!A2" -- replace the 2 with whatever line you are on the summary spreadsheet. For =Summary!B2 do the same, etc.).

4. Rename the tab "@[twitter name]" or if you don't have Twitter "[nickname]"  (If you want to link your page back to summary spreadsheet, go for it.  It's a huge help. Column F will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!D43  Column J will look like this (minus the brackets):  ='[your tab name]'!E43)

5. Fill out the sheet as you wish.

6. Update your own individual page as needed (if tracking is too hard, consider printing out your page and filling it out by hand and updating it online once a week). The total mileage will automatically be updated on the Summary tab as you report on your individual page.

7. Follow #GoTheDist on Twitter for support if you need it or to support others when they do, to announce achievements, and find new/old friends!

8. PLEASE DO NOT DELETE LINES OR TABS! Do not SORT.  If you want to add columns, please add them to the RIGHT of the page.  Please do NOT move your page around! You CAN bookmark your individual page using your browser to find it easily.

---

I'm also quite happy to see how #GoTheDist and #MeFirst can work hand-in-hand.  Consider taking the #MeFirst pledge!

So grab your #GoTheDist buttons, use the hash tags for each month, and get out there! We're all behind you!

At the end of the month consider answering these questions:

• How do you think you did over the course of the month?  
• Did you overestimate or underestimate your capabilities?  Why is this?  Is this representative of a larger trend in your life?
• Did you learn anything about yourself while doing this? 
• Can you apply what you've learned in ##GoTheDist somewhere else in your life? 
• Did you make any new friends through #GoTheDist -- were you able to support each other?
• What was the hardest part of the challenge?  (physical? mental/psychological?)
• What do you think you did really well this month? (doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• What do you think you could improve on? (again, doesn't have to be about #GoTheDist)
• No matter the numbers you already entered, are you going to finish strong, or taper off? 
• Did you go the distance? And no, I don't mean did you hit 100% of your goal... did you put yourself out there and really try for it?  Is 80% still something you can be proud of?