Mirage

So yesterday I wanted to post but I was just nonstop busy all day.  It makes the day pass by quicker, but man... I had the entry all written...

So yesterday I wanted to post but I was just nonstop busy all day.  It makes the day pass by quicker, but man... I had the entry all written in my head, just needed to get it in Blogger.  It just never happened.  The story isn't so good in my head right now, but the point is, so here goes, and sorry if this isn't a thrilling post.

After a good 2-hour run the night before, sleep came easy and it came hard. I slept until 8:20 (I'm usually up a little before 6 and I have to be at work by 9 am).

Yesterday I woke up a little dehydrated, a little disoriented.  The sun was coming in my apartment at an angle I don't normally get to see. There was gunk in my eyes.  Sometime in the middle of waking up and sorting out the dehydration, the disorientation, the gunk and the sun, I saw myself in the mirror out of the corner of my eyes.

It seemed like it was not me being reflected -- it was some other woman with shoulders back and head high.  I knew it was me. It had to have been me.  But I'm finding that each day on this journey I have to reacquaint myself with my body, with my reflection.  It's not vanity, but it's getting to know someone I've never seen before.  There's all the nervousness and trepidation of a first meeting, and yet in an instant, I feel like I have known her all my life.

For getting through this rambly entry, you are rewarded with a picture of what I was doing today...


Her name is Platypus.  She's deaf in one ear (we think) and she will be available to adopt sometime soon at the Washington Animal Rescue League.  I know, I know. Volunteering has little-to-no rewards... I mean, other than getting your face licked...

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8 comments

  1. Your post is far from rambly, and I know so many who can relate to this (myself included). I'm so happy to read that what you are seeing surprises you, but in such a positive and amazing way :)

    And omg I think if I was still in the area, I'd have a new pet friend named Platypus!

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  2. aww the pup is adorable i would adopt them all if i could.
    Our bodies go through a lot of changes as we loose weight, it can take time to get to know ourselves.

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  3. I think it's wonderful that you are realizing the changes your body is making!! I'm still at the point that i don't see the changes in the mirror- but I do in photos. I love the way you describe your experiences- so easy to picture in my head.

    Oh and the puppy is ADORABLE!!!

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  4. I think a large part of it is that this is the smallest I've been since HS. I've never seen myself in this body before.

    I'm glad you all liked the post. It just didn't have the drama I had originally intended, but leave it to a creative writer to want drama in a documentary-like blog post!

    Isn't the puppy adorable? She is just one of many dogs that I get to play with at the shelter. I'm so lucky.

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  5. Great post - I think it's wonderful that you are starting to see the you that you are discovering under the layers and that is the woman the world gets to see too! Big love to ya xx

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  6. Andrea -- first of all, you're a fantastic reader/commenter of my blog -- for that you get much love.

    And I'm allowing myself to see it. I know that i wear a fat suit, and it's hiding the person I really am. I just love that in those fleeting moments that she makes an appearance.

    I can't wait to meet her. She's been dying to live a little.

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  7. It was a thrilling post :) It's great to take stock of where you are in the moment.

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  8. Hehehe thrilling might be overstating the case, but thanks for the comment -- it made me giggle.

    And you're right in pointing out that I was in the moment -- it wasn't a time when I judged myself, or minimized my accomplishments.

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<3 Robby