I think the best way to unclog my mind at this point is in list format, so here goes:
1. I can't believe it's been almost a year since starting this blog. I didn't realize how fast time has flown by! I've had such ups and downs the whole time.
2. I thought about this because Mr. Jack Sh*t, Getting Fit posted my Why I Do This Here photo. I wanted my photo to accurately represent not only why I began the journey on the blog, but why I continue it. I don't care so much about what people think about me, but I care about what I put out into the world.
3. I started this blog for myself as a way to refute what the world was trying to tell me about my body (that I was worthless and needed to change in order to be deserving), how it wanted me to feel (ashamed). Along the way, I've found all of you (**waves**) as well as myself.
4. But over the past two days something absolutely amazing happened. I won't go into specifics, but it has to do with finding out just exactly who was reading my blog. One of those people emailed me this morning and I was in absolute tears (joyful ones at that). The email was unexpected, the author was more than unexpected, and the words were sincerely beautiful. With all my heart I couldn't have predicted this email, but I am grateful for it. It seemed like a lifetime in the making.
5. We all say this is for ourselves, but I think everyone wants to connect in some way or another with another person. We want the validation of someone saying "I know what you're saying" or "I feel your pain." But every now and then someone close to your heart says it. Any fear or hesitation of putting pen to paper or words to feelings is washed away. I could stop writing (I won't, don't worry!) and feel satisfied by what I've done here.
6. Sorry! Not trying to rank or put down any of your comments :P
7. I'm less than a month away from my 29th birthday. I'm scared and excited -- as it'll be one of the healthiest birthdays in almost 21 years.
8. Shit, even saying that makes me feel old.