Rotating the Tires

So, part of The Plan is to take better care of myself.  That being said, I've made a bunch of doctors appointments.  I've already h...

So, part of The Plan is to take better care of myself.  That being said, I've made a bunch of doctors appointments.  I've already had my dental appointment (and have the next one scheduled for before the wedding so I can get my teeth whitened).  I booked my gynecologist appointment and yearly physical appointment (have you?).  I also am going to an orthopedist on Thursday to take a look at my right knee (if it's in one position for too long it locks up and hurts quite a bit). 

I've also had a little bit of a setback.  I thought I could handle having a container of Double Stuf Oreos in my house, but it's not the case.  I had 5 with/after dinner.  It's one of my trigger foods -- where once I get the taste of it in my mouth, I have trouble sticking to what I know is a perfectly acceptable portion (2).  For some people it's potato chips, for some people it's alcohol.  For me it's sweets.  I even put a note on the package that reads "you are stronger than the cookies" and that didn't help.  My next step is duct taping the package closed.   When you're trying to pry apart layers of duct tape (1) you have to really want it and (2) it's a good mindfulness practice (yes, this is purely me trying to justify it...).

The thing is that I had a pretty healthy breakfast/am snack (strawberries, cherries, fiber one, cheese, and a little bit of ceviche to see how it was coming along), a healthy lunch (salad with low cal dressing (a la Chop't)), planned two Oreos for my afternoon snack, and had a dinner of ceviche, broccoli and rice.  I had planned for those two Oreos as a snack, and also made the choice to include them.  When I got home and went into the freezer for the third, that wasn't mindful. That wasn't a choice.  That was impulse.  But even then I was okay.  It wasn't until Oreo number five (350 calories of sugar and chemicals) that I started to beat myself up.  Oreo number six for the day was kind of like a "fuck it, I'm screwed already" move.  I regret Oreo nos. 4-6.

If you watch The Biggest Loser, it was almost comforting to hear a contestant who was in the final 4 admit that they sabotaged themselves and their chances at winning by slipping into old patterns.  We're all human.  We all make mistakes.  It's about whether we add the second arrow and sulk/punish ourselves or whether we identify what was going on, let it have its moment and get back to what we know. 

So while I regret Oreo No. 4, No. 5, and No. 6, there's nothing I can do about it other than let it go, learn from it, and work towards having a healthy relationship with these cookies.

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6 comments

  1. Oreos are such a derailer! I feel your pain! I did want you to know though, I tried the dessert you recommended. It was a huge hit last night. I cruched about ten cookies. About five of them were Oreos and about five of them were chocolate covered graham crackers. (The smaller store brand ones, not the huge name brand ones) and then I layered about 1-1.5c frozen raspberries on top and then probably about 2c strawberried on top of that. (They were whole, and HUGE). I baked it until it was hot bubbly and gooey and I split it between four people. So cooked we probably each got only 1/2 - 3/4c. Berried bake DOWN and whole it was super yummy and we all wanted more, it was also a nice sweet dessert and we kind of felt spoiled getting to have it. So thanks again! And if you haven't tried it yet, Do!! Oh I dusted it with the tiniest amount of powdered sugar just for decoration.

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  2. Ack! Typos! And I cannot go back and fix!

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  3. Wow, you can stop at number 6??? Need I say more?! You've got a really cute blog, I'm excited to follow your progress!

    Sam
    www.believeinyourself1.blogspot.com

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  4. Crystal--I actually got the recipe/idea from Jacques Pepin and I've done it with many different combinations of fruits and cookies. I've even done it with uncooked apples and graham crackers. It was om nom nommmy....

    Sam--my hopes were to stop at 2, so I was kinda disappointed, but it's all a learning experience. It's about re-calibrating my threshold so I become satisfied sooner.

    I was talking with a coworker about how necessary it is to form compassionate dialogue about our struggles with weight. I think the vast majority of people (lay people and some doctors) don't really understand how complex this issue is. It's not because we have low self esteem, are lazy, or love twinkies. Somewhere along the line we just held on to the idea of food being safe and comfortable... and never got out of that pattern.

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  5. I'm not sure about double stuffed Oreos, but my sister-in-law recently told me that (regular) Oreos are one of the things she can eat right now (she's breast feeding an infant with a very sensitive stomach), because they have no dairy in them. No dairy, nothing natural - in Oreos. From that day (this was just a few months ago), every time I see an Oreo package I grimace a little. I am a cookie lover, but those are one cookie I won't be touching again.

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  6. I love Michael Pollan's Food Rules (http://www.amazon.com/Food-Rules-Eaters-Michael-Pollan/dp/014311638X) -- especially the one where he says "If you want to eat junk food, be prepared to make it from scratch."

    In other words, I wouldn't know where to begin to create a "Natural" Oreo.

    Probably a good indication that I shouldn't be eating it, right?

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<3 Robby