Jack Sh*t Really Sh*tty Meme

A twist on the ABCs of me Meme:  The Jack Sh*t Really Sh*tty Meme

Achilles heel: Men with baby animals
Battle cry: I'm coming to get you!
Casket size:  None -- I plan to donate my body to science and then be cremated.
Deformity: my pinky toe curls under my foot
Embarrassing nickname:  Big Bertha (though if someone were to call me this, I'd show them a thing or two)
Fish I’d most like to be if I were somehow, for some reason, forced to be turned into a fish:  Swordfish, duh.
Getaway route:  Go-Go-Gadget Helicopter
Hillbilly name (click here):  Penny Sue Crow
Inanimate object I most resemble: A playground slide
“Jack”, Favorite blogger named:  I'm blanking on this one...
Knot I have most trouble untying:  Garlic Knots
Last lesson learned:  If the car has diplomat license plates, do yourself a favor and don't jaywalk.
Middle letter of middle name: I
Nearest Chinese restaurant: Meiwah
Oldest person I know:  My grandpa -- there might be older people, but I don't really know them
Pancakes, Favorite topping for:  fresh butter
Quality I wish I had more of:  patience
Rap artist I’d most like to chillax with:  Xhibit
Salad dressing I despise most: A tie between Ranch and Bleu Cheese
TV show I wish would disappear forever: All reality TV programs making celebrities out of idiots
Underwear, Favorite kind/color:  Victorias Secret "The Lacie" Hiphugger
Vice that I wish I could do away with: cursing like a sailor in proper company
Website that I check first every day: gmail.com
Xerox, Funniest thing I’ve copied on:  my W-2
“Yes,” Dumbest thing to which I’ve answered:  "would you help me give this foal an enema?"
Zombie, Favorite “brain” dish if I ever became a:  probably brain ceviche