Seconds

I was about to post how I failed the June #GoTheDist challenge of being able look at myself in the mirror with lovingkindess.  I spent a ...

I was about to post how I failed the June #GoTheDist challenge of being able look at myself in the mirror with lovingkindess. 

I spent a good 20 minutes in the mirror scanning my skin, picking at it, and plucking stray hairs on my chin/neck and eyebrows.... and even on my leg. 
It was beyond normal grooming. I am stressed out about the day to come, and this is how my anxiety decided to show itself.

I was like "oh man, today started off a failure."
But you know what... I'm going to refuse to let it be that way.

Who ever said I get one stab at this per day?
No one.

And the towel comes off.... Take two.
**deep breath**

just keep swimming... one second at a time..... one minute at a time.... one hour at a time.... one day at a time...

(I also want to give another big shout out to @KCLAnderson -- who is my hero for posting about this in her blog.  Cutters get all the fame (movies like Secretary, Girl Interrupted, etc.) but there are lots of skin pickers out there and no one advocating for them, or telling them that it's more common than they think.  While we may feel marginalized and a bit freaky for this stupid habit/anxiety disorder, we're not alone.)

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5 comments

  1. You are NOT alone. Here is another noteworthy post on the subject. It actually has a name which I never knew -- Katie J

    http://chibistruggles.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-05-30T10%3A34%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7

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  2. I hope my post didn't trigger you :-(

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  3. KCL -- it didn't at all.
    I pick way more often than I'm willing to admit -- probably 15-20 days out of the month -- everything from a mindless scratch, to a "scrutinizing" session.

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  4. I came over here by way of Karen, only to see that Katie had already posted the link to my post (thanks, Katie!). I had quite a few people chime in with similar stories: while I hate, hate, hate that others go through the same horribleness, it *is* a little comforting to know I'm not alone.

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  5. Hi Chibi -- I'm with you -- it SUCKS that other people go through this -- and no one talks about it and says "there there, I *understand*"

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<3 Robby