Let me not to the marriage of true mindsIn other words...
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
- When love is right, you don't need to change the other person, and you do not need to change yourself (you may have to compromise, but there's no renovation project going on)
- When love is right, it can weather rough patches (as my boss says about marriage, "there are good years and bad years"), you can set your clocks to it (it's dependable and constant), and always find your way back to love.
- When love is right you can tell by its timeless quality of remaining unchanged over time (and said love can even evolve and deepen).
- You struggle and suffer to make things work.
- There are only rough patches, it is unpredictable and not dependable, and you often lose sight of the chance of love.
- You feel like you are working against a clock or a timeline.
And to put it in the context of the lovingkindness dialogue I'm working with in my blog -- if you have to change yourself to accomodate another person, is that kind to who you are and what you need?