Not whether you win or lose; it's how you play the game.

I've mentioned in the past that I play this nerdy game called Ingress (join the Resistance, we have cookies!).  It's an always-in-flux worldwide game of capture the flag using your phone and GPS location. There are flags (portals) everywhere around you and you use your phone to claim (deploy) or capture (use xmps) them, get resources from them (hack), or connect them to other locations (link & field). 

It came into my life when I wasn't feeling so great about my work effort in the gym (back in December 2013).  I couldn't run as much and there were days when I could barely walk.  Ingress gave me the motivation to get out of the house and at least try to walk around the block at the very least.  Some days I was able to move more, some days less.  

You can play the game as a solo player, but the game's strength is when you start playing with other players (agents).  My teammates have been a great support at times (and sometimes a pain in my ass).  One of my favorite friends from the game even came to the hospital to visit me when my back went haywire a year ago (wow, it's been a year since being in the hospital). 

We also have these large-scale events called anomalies where hundreds of agents converge on a single location to play the game for a 4-hour block of time (with meetups before and parties afterward).  This past weekend, I had hundreds of teammates (and opponents) converging on Washington, DC for an anomaly.

I was very busy preparing for this event last week -- so much so that I walked 72 km (44 miles) from Sunday 5/24 to Saturday 5/30 while playing the game (almost 2000 km since 12/18/13).  Crazy, right?  Sadly, the Resistance lost the DC Anomaly - but I had a lot of fun playing on the NYC team (**waves to Team Cherry Bombs/Terribly Delicious Decisions**).


Now that the anomaly (and the swag orders) are over, I can start to focus on my next big event: Fitbloggin 2015.  

Much like DubyaWife, I always spend the few weeks before Fitbloggin with a certain amount of dread and self-critique:  "You don't belong here..."  And my friends spend the few weeks before Fitbloggin reminding me that if you feel like you don't belong at Fitbloggin, that's when you need to be there the most.

This year I'll be leading a discussion with Janet Oberholtzer on a topic that is near and dear to my heart:  Living With Pain:  A Survival Guide.  Both Janet and I have had some pretty fun injuries.  I think there's a big difference between suffering an injury and learning to live with one.  Living with an injury isn't about accepting limitations or accepting defeat -- it's about moving into a new phase of your life with a bit of grace, humor, forgiveness, and a plan of attack.

I can't wait to see you all there.

Put Your Big Kid Underwear On

I find it kinda funny to be known for my strength/resilience because at times I'm a real wimp.

Okay... let me rephrase...

I eventually get around to being strong and resilient, but I either whine a bunch or have to psych myself up to doing it.

For instance, I'm afraid of needles.  They say that most people who are afraid of needles aren't actually afraid of the pain/gross factor, but that they had a bad experience in the past.  Well, that'd be true in my case:  When was young, I had an ingrown toenail that needed to be dealt with.  The doctor injected Novocaine through a very thick callous on my toe and the medication didn't work.  My phobia is so bad that I get dental fillings without Novocaine.

scared primate face
Getting my epidurals (2 for my back, 1 for my neck) were a HUGE deal for me.  My needlephobia manifested in vasovagal responses (I started to faint) each time. During the epidural procedure for my neck, the doctor actually wanted to halt and reschedule the procedure. I very clearly remember telling him something like "I didn't put on my big girl panties for nothing.  We're doing this."

So... back in February, I fell in the shower (I think it was more that I pinched a nerve and lost feeling in my legs).  In May, I went to the ER because I was in excruciating pain (again, while in the shower... I need a bathtub...) and the attending doc at the ER was a dillhole to me.  When I met up with my orthopedic doctor I left with a prescription for a discogram.  Sadly, this is not like a candygram:  It is not a message you send someone you love wherein an actor shows up your door in 70s garb, dances The Hustle, and hands you a bouquet of flowers.

I've procrastinated in making the appointment. Part of the problem was finding someone that does them, the rest of the problem was that I looked up discograms on the internets.  You guessed it -- MORE NEEDLES! But, I bit the bullet and called the neurosurgeon's office today.  It needs to be done.

I've grown too comfortable with saying that I can't do much because I'm injured.

So I'm gonna take a page from Roni and Carla and get my #wycwyc on.  A large part of my What-You-Can/When-You-Can has been walking with Ingress (a real-time, worldwide game of capture the flag -- Join the Resistance! I'm @YoursBluely -- and have walked 1025km since December!).  But there's more that I can do.  I need to get my diet back on point (okay, how many times have I said that?).  I need to use my pool (okay, it's not big, but I can walk laps in it).  I need to do my yearly physicals.

I need to put my big girl underroos on every day.