Part II of Discovering Dad
Q6: Mom also had food issues. What was your take on her eating habits? Do you think she had an eating disorder, or did she just have disordered eating?
A6: The latter -- disordered eating. I don't know what she did when I was not there, but remember I saw her up in weight and down in weight, up, down, just like many who struggle, but no evidence of "disorder" that I am aware beyond that. She did hide a lot of behaviors, so maybe you have a point but not a provable case, just supposition. Since she's no longer here, you and I are in same boat as I about many things about your mother. What is clear is that we did not have healthy eating habits and did not teach you or your brother healthy eating habits and exercise and life style.
A9: When did I ever educate you about health or food (other than making mountains of pancakes, slabs of meat, potatoes, dessert)?!? When you got heavier, as I was heavier, I failed to see and get us running or exercising, or going together to the gym or anything positive. I recognize that I was a poor role model and I wonder if my depression rubbed off onto you.
Q9.1: I remember you once signed us up for Gold’s Gym, perhaps when I was 16. Why did we stop going?
A9.1: Knowing me I probably came up with a hundred excuses. When we signed up for the family membership, that came with one "free" training session -- I got a artificially-muscled steroidal freak who started me off on weights that were far too heavy. He didn't address the needs and limitations of my own body. Schedule was also a big excuse too. I commuted over two hours each way for work, and I would come home at the end of the day tired. Changing out of my suit into gym clothing was just too much to ask some days.
Q10: Now that we're both adults trying to get our weight in check, do you think it's important that we are good role models and inspirations for each other as well as the rest of our family?
A10: It would be important if I BECAME a GOOD role model for you. YOU have ALREADY BECOME a good role model for yourself, despite me.
Q11: I've tried to keep this interview brief, but is there anything else you'd like to talk about?
A11: Just an overview, to wit:
My life has been one with a lot of pain and sorrow and loss, and my childhood was not a happy one. Many issues continued into adulthood, and new issues arose. Clearly, I have had an unhealthy relation to food and and other consumables which were bad for me. Couple that with smoking and I have not taken care of myself. Some people have an innate sense of themselves and take pride and thus make the effort in their health and their appearance. In the course my life, I can not be so categorized thus far. But I want this to be otherwise henceforth.
|Dad -- I love you very much too :)