Deserving Good things

Most people I know who have lived most of their life overweight/obese have a pretty strong aversion to cameras.  We prefer certain angles an...

Most people I know who have lived most of their life overweight/obese have a pretty strong aversion to cameras.  We prefer certain angles and to be photographed from the shoulders up.
Focus on the pretty face.

I've mentioned in passing and a bit more in-depth that I'm a skin picker.
I often don't want to be photographed if my skin shows the damage of my anxiety.
Because of this I have become pretty good with makeup and fantastic with photoshop.

My admission for this post is that I'm also really sensitive about my teeth.  My mom had dentures by the age of 36 (I believe).  My dad grinds his teeth.   As my permanent teeth grew in, my baby canine teeth didn't fall out, and my adult ones grew on top of them, making it look like I had fangs.  (I don't know how accurate it is to say it was a genetic thing, but I know of a few people in my family that had this happen as well.)  I had braces for about a year and a half to correct this. 

If there is one doctor that I make sure I see, it's the dentist. I do everything they ask of me (floss, proxy brush, different brush, fluoride rinse... you name it).  I just ask in return that they promise me that I will keep my own teeth for a very long time.  They assure me that I don't have my mother's teeth, and I don't have my father's behavior.

However, over the past few years I've been increasingly sensitive about the color of my teeth.
I wouldn't say they're yellow, but they're like the color of tapioca pudding. They're just not as brilliant as I would want them to look.  I don't want them to look unnaturally white, but I want them to look like how I live (ie, I'm a non-smoker, I don't drink coffee, I don't drink red wine...but I do drink tea...).

 Today I'm going to spend more than a few dollars on myself to get in-office teeth whitening.  I have a hard time spending money on myself, especially for things that might be frivolous or aesthetic in nature.   It will have an effect on my diet for the next 36 hours (i.e. no food that can pigment my teeth while the enamel re-closes) and most likely until the wedding (i.e. no red wine, limited foods that can stain my teeth).

I feel horrible feeling vain, and spending money -- but if it works on my teeth and I feel a little brighter.... then it will be money well-spent.  One less thing to feel self-conscious about.

[Update:  After the 1-hour in-office whitening, my teeth brightened more than 8 shades. They're a little sensitive now, but nothing I can't handle...]

You Might Also Like


  1. I say go for it! I've got a similar issue but I do drink coffee and so I'm kinda asking for it. My boyfriend always yells at me for not spending money on myself as my shoes are scuffed and i just discovered a nice little tear on the belt loop of my dress pants this morning! So I get the battle but you definitely deserve a treat, and if a whiter smile makes you feel better then great!

  2. I had it done once and lovvvved it! I think a person's smile says a lot about them, you're worth it

  3. I think a lot of weight loss is about self confidence. I lack in this area too...and I used to do pagents. Go figure. I have teeth issues too. I had a bad accident as a child (jumping on the bed) and now my front tooth is dead (giving it a gray hue). I'm very weird about my teeth. I have yellowish teeth because I am affraid to bleach them and have the front dead one stand out (because people stare and ask questions and I was very teased as a kid). However, now the dentist says because of some old fillings cracking my teeth I need 2 now I want to have them bleached so that the "fake" ones aren't made to look stained...or stand out, but I feel guilty about the money too. I mean, it seems frivoulous in the face of needing a bigger down payment for our home... I so get what you mean about all of this and you know what? I've come to terms with it. I say don't feel guilty at all! People buy themselves clothes that look nice, shoes, make-up...why should we feel guilty about making our teeth look better? Its one of the first things people see when they look at you. You wouldn't want to have your picture taken or go out in public wearing some torn, nasty, stained up shirt. Why should we feel any different about our teeth? I've just come to the realization that its a necessary thing...just like clothes. I mean, its not like your getting vaneers (sp) over perfectly beautiful looking teeth or something (which would be a waste). You have embarrassment over your teeth. They make you feel less than beautiful, less than confident. The key to caring enough about our selves to change our bodies and way of life is to first find the confidence we need to succeed...maybe your teeth being a little whiter will give you that. Oh, and I did bleach my front tooth (from the inside out) prior to my wedding. And no, I didn't feel an ounce of guilt. And a tea drinking tip...use a straw, drink it cold. hot tea is more likely to stain. Tha

  4. I have the same issue with not spending enough on aesthetics.
    But you deserve it! You're working hard on all fronts, why not reward yourself with something that isn't food and makes you feel even better about yourself? :-)

  5. I was trying to say that my dentist told me that bit about the tea.

  6. Good for you. You deserve nice things! I've never had teeth whitening before, but I'm sure it's fantastic.

  7. You deserve it, wish i could spend money on myself.

  8. You totally deserve it. Especially since you're going to a wedding, there will be lots of pictures and you should feel beautiful from how much you've accomplished and how awesome you look! I have the same feeling about my teeth. I brush, I don't drink too much wine but they have this slight hue to them. It makes me feel a little unclean even though I'm NOT! I understand where you are coming from and you need those teeth to match the rest of your sparkling buff self :)

  9. I did the in-office whitening a few years back & thought it helped.

    I probably should try to do it again, but it's not a priority... I do take better care of myself now than I did 10 years ago however

  10. I love you all. I hope you know it.
    You're all like the good angel that sits on my shoulder saying it's okay to want nice things for myself. Thank you for kicking self-doubt in the nuts for me.

    And whether you're spending $700 on yourself or $7 on yourself, I think the lesson is that you are worth every since penny you invest in yourself.

  11. I love this idea - and what a great way to show yourself love!

    Let us know how it works! I've been curious about it myself...

  12. I love this!!! We do have to indulge on ourselves every now and then! You deserve it with all of your hard work :)


Thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment.
I'll do my very best to respond to it in a timely manner!
<3 Robby