I often fantasize about my skinny self -- the person that's hiding under all of this fat. Part of me wants to know her better. I've often thought about going to a plastic surgeon (or a forensic sketch artist) to ask what I'd look like if I weren't fat. Would I recognize myself?
That and if I were at a plastic surgeon's office, what would they tell me is wrong with me or what would they want to fix? Would they match up with what I'd want to fix? Would they even have the heart to tell me that underneath all the fat is a muscular, strong, beautiful woman?
See the thing is, I know it. I know who I am underneath all the fat.
It just takes longer for most people to see it.