Damsels in Distress

I was musing about this the other day with a dear friend of mine (who has waged the fat war and won)...

Women have a psycho/physiological need to be with another person. It affects our oxytocin levels. When we are with another person (in whatever context), our brains are stimulated with this wonderful drug that makes us feel happy. When we're alone, we don't get this oxytocin boost and we're more likely to be depressed.

But that's not what we chatted about.
It was the disparity between how people console fat girls when they say "I'm lonely."

We've found in our collective experience that when a thin girl (in our proximity, friends, coworkers, etc.) says "I'm lonely," the reaction is "Don't worry, you'll find someone."

When a fat/ugly girl says "I'm lonely," the reaction is "Maybe use this time to work on yourself" or "You should find happiness without a man."

Aroo? What?

Why the difference in the reaction? Why shouldn't the fat/ugly girl be consoled and comforted in a way that suggests her lonliness will end. Or does she have to be willing to change herself in order to be deemed worthy of another person's affection?


I usually get the "You'll find the one...eventually" or "Guys are just assholes".

What I usually get, that leaves me "WTF!?!" is that people count me out of the competition. Like they mysteriously forget I am STILL single. For example:
Coworker: I hope it works out with Cute Guy from the Party and your roommate!
Me: Umm..sure, but I'd rather it works out with ME and the Cute guy from the Party since we have more in common....


Zaniah: Ugh! I hate the instant wingwoman status. Big girls need love too!


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<3 Robby