Dogfight: Isn't it funny?12:27:00 PM
Two Fridays ago, my neighbor called and said he had spare tickets to the Keegan Theatre's performance of Dogfight -- the musical versio...
Two Fridays ago, my neighbor called and said he had spare tickets to the Keegan Theatre's performance of Dogfight -- the musical version of the movie by the same name. The basic plot is that on their last night in the U.S. (San Francisco) before going to Vietnam, 4 Marines decide to have a dogfight: the guys all put money in a pot to have a party and the guy who brings the ugliest date (unbeknownst to the girl) wins the pot.
So when I was in 6th grade at my first dance, and an 8th grader asked me to dance, it never dawned on me that I was a walking punchline. I had kind of known him from my brother's baseball team, and I guess I must have thought that he recognized me too and wanted to be nice to me. He pulled me in the middle of the dance floor and as I started dancing, I could see from the corner of my eye his friends huddled together, laughing.
I spent most of the first act with tears in my eyes -- especially the song where Rose (the female lead) reacts to what happened at the party: "Isn't it funny? Isn't it funny? Isn't it funny you believed that it was real? Pretty funny. All disasters have an upside. You can find one if you tried. You went dancing, you were dancing, you were dancing with a guy."
Dogfight kinda brought up all these feelings -- of inadequacy, of being an outsider, and learning to be distrustful of men and their intentions. After my mom died (8th grade), many of the "popular" boys started being nicer to me (I'm not sure why but I think one of the boys' moms had something to do with it). I was thankful, but still not trusting. I was shocked, but not trusting, when in 9th grade gym, one of the most popular kids in the whole school (the older brother on the boy I had a crush on for most of my life) wanted to be my gym mixed-doubles tennis partner. I was shocked, but thankful, when my crush came to my Sweet 16.
[ugh.... this was a hard one to write... took 2 weeks to really wrap my head around it.]
[Edit -- a friend from HS helped me to remember that not all guys in HS were assholes -- so shout out to ND who saw me walking home from school one day in the middle of winter and offered me a ride home. Thanks to JH for picking up the phone the day I needed him. And thanks for JE/PE for making the first xmas without my mom that much more bearable.]