PMS is NOT just premenstrual syndrome (a dis-order), but also stands for an internal "warning system" which alerts a woman that the (order-ly) changes are occurring inside her body. Those symptoms prepare us to be ready for the monthly cycle and all that it entails: some times moodiness (not rage), a bit of water retention (bloating), maybe a mild back ache or headache, even sometimes a craving for a certain kind of food.**raises an eyebrow** "Even sometimes a craving for a certain kind of food."
Mom was a habitual undereater.
I'm an emotional eater/chaotic grazer with binge tendencies.
When I PMS, I don't necessarily want a certain kind of food;
I want to try all the food groups.
Sometimes til I feel sick.
Yesterday, I knew that I was PMSing. On the way back from a lunchtime walk, I stupidly stopped in a CVS. These came home with me:
When it comes to PMS there's already this sense of "Well, I'm going to get bloated anyways, might as well stuff all the food in my mouth and deal with the fallout the other three weeks of the month." Or "Since I have to deal with this horrible thing that happens every month, life owes me this small comfort."
But none of them scratched the itch that I was feeling. Even so I felt that if I kept them at my desk, that I would eat all three bags by close of business. So in a panic, I brought them to my friend/coworker's desk and was like "....help....me..." (luckily she works by 3 guys who never seem to gain weight)
This is what binge eating is for me: the ability to consciously and logically realize that food won't fix what I'm feeling, but the absolute emotional panic of not being able to stop myself.
Fortunately, I don't always feel this way. I know that it's worse when I'm PMSing and when I'm under stress. I just need to remember that I am not the binge. I am better than the binge. I'm worthy of actual nutrition... and a heating pad.