(1) after all that work, I look at the pictures and see just how much more there is to be done. Deep down I know I have come so far. I really really do. I just thought I'd look so much better. There's still the part of me who sees the photos and feels like a failure.
(2) After the past year+ of blogging, the last 9 months or so of working with my dietitian, and the last 3 months of intensive workouts, I'm kinda burned out and want to take a few weeks to re-group. It's disorienting to have to find new motivation.
(3) I totally went off the meal plan for the wedding weekend (it's okay, it's not like I was binging, just wasn't being mindful). I then came home and have spent the past 2 days feeling completely insatiable and eating everything in sight (luckily there wasn't much in my apartment that wasn't isn't healthy in moderation, and slightly nauseating in excess). I need to get back to food logging because that at least made it less about emotions and more about numbers.
(4) I've redone the plan. As it now reads (with some holdovers from the original plan):
--continue good habits re mindful eating (food log)
--balanced exercise routine (strength, cardio, flexibility)
--practice self care, good care of cats
--plan a vacation for 2011
--put heart on the line, trust its strength
--volunteer more regularly
--finish what is started
--be more organized (food plans, schedules, finances, apt)
--Long term goal: 180lbs by Jan. 1, 2010
(5) The sad confession? I ate 1/4 cup of white whipped icing right from the tub. I felt sick after eating it. I felt disappointed in myself for doing something so impulsive. I hated the fact that I knew it was all sugar and hydrogenated oil. But I'm glad I threw the rest of the tub out. It's just not worth keeping around.