No easy way to say this....
On November 6, 2010, I was on top of the world -- my best friend was getting married and I weighed in at my lowest adult weight of 188lbs.
But all of the work I did to get there (100+ miles a month on the elliptical) took a toll on my body and I knew I had to give my back a rest. I regained a few pounds through the first few months of 2011, but I let it go knowing that I was listening to my body and not risking re-injuring my lower back.
So in 2011, I switched gears and started boxing. Not only was I kicking butt, but I was feeling great. Not even someone trying to make me feel bad could affect my stride. My running complemented my boxing, and I could feel my body changing and getting stronger. But that success was short lived when I started feeling weak in my left arm in July. My doctor and I approached the injury conservatively. I stopped boxing for a while, did physical therapy, and for a while the pain went away. I resumed my boxing and running and the pain came back. By December, we knew what we were dealing with: a herniated disc at C5-6 and a bulging disc at C6-7.
2012 began with treating the new injury -- more drugs, more rest, more rehabilitation. I experienced some moderate improvement, but my recovery has been nothing like my lower back's recovery. My lower back's injury wasn't as severe, and I think has been a bit of a non-issue as of late. I'm aware of what hurts it (walking on hard surfaces, sitting for too long, using recumbent bikes, etc.) and take care to avoid those things. I've tried to give my neck rest, but just about anything can aggravate it -- such as lying down, walking for 10 minutes, going down stairs, etc.).
With my friend Evan's guidance, I'm starting to investigate surgeons who will make my neck a bit more stable so I can get back to the gym.... because I've gained 17.5lbs since November 6, 2010. And I do not like this. I do not like this at all. I'm disappointed in me, because I know there's so much I can be doing (i.e., being more focused about my diet, not drinking) and I'm just not. I've been avoiding getting on the scale, but to tell you the truth, this number is lower than what I was expecting. Part of the fat mentality is believing/fearing that any time you stray from the path, that you immediately go back to your worst. I know how to get back on track.
I think reading Janet Oberholtzer's book is helping me realize one big part of the picture: I need to mourn the loss of my spinal health. It really does suck to be stuck in a body that is aging faster than my heart and mind. It sucks that I have to face making these decisions without any guarantees as to the result. It sucks that I fear other people touching me because I feel so fragile. The sooner I feel and deal with these feelings of loss, the sooner I can focus on what I can do, what I can do about my situation.
But you've come here because you want to know the winner of the Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer, right?
I want to thank each and every person that entered the contest. I received a whopping 780 entries!! Can you believe that?
Without further ado -- I present the winner of the KitchenAid Stand Mixer:
Jess, congrats!! Send me an email with your address and I'll get that beautiful stand mixer to your new home!