Why let your shoulders bend?

This is dedicated to all of my beautiful friends at Fitbloggin that had the courage to speak up to the truth of what is going on in their lives (both good & bad).  I mean, I just wrote about what it means when bloggers go silent -- it means there's a storm brewing.

Never think that because I'm going through some physical/emotional stuff that I'm not going to be here for any or all of you.  While I'm not your psychologist/therapist, I'm part of your support system.
And if you feel like you can't talk to me, please find someone you can talk to.  You do not need to suffer in silence.

So many of us feel like we need to be the person with their shit together, or the person in our circles that helps other people because we're so strong and "with it" -- completely neglecting the fact that our friends want to return the favor, that sometimes we need to be gracious and allow other people to be a part of our lives (both good & bad). And if you can't talk to them, you can still lean on them in silence.  Let them hold you, let them comfort you even if the words aren't there.

And before I get to the lyrics for the song above, I just want to share that I've been in therapy off & on and as needed for the past 18 years (bereavement counseling, behavioral psychologist for anxiety/depression).  Sometimes it's just good to have 1 hour (or 2 hours) every week to talk to someone outside your immediate life that can be objective and not interject their own needs and issues into your story and pain.  Just like getting a massage or a pedicure, or getting our yearly physicals, it's just one of the things we do to take care of ourselves. 

It takes strength and courage to ask for help.

"Trouble Me" by Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs

Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.
Trouble me on the days when you feel spent.
Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back is sturdy and strong?
Trouble me.

Speak to me, don't mislead me, the calm I feel means a storm is swelling;

there's no telling where it starts or how it ends.
Speak to me, why are you building this thick brick wall to defend me when your silence is my greatest fear?
Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back is sturdy and strong?
Speak to me.

Let me have a look inside these eyes while I'm learning.

Please don't hide them just because of tears.
Let me send you off to sleep with a "There, there, now stop your turning and tossing."
Let me know where the hurt is and how to heal.

Spare me? Don't spare me anything troubling.

Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.
Speak to me and let our words build a shelter from the storm.
Lastly, let me know what I can mend.
There's more, honestly, than my sweet friend, you can see.
Trust is what I'm offering if you trouble me.


Great post!!! Therapy is A great thing for sure.


Great post!! I'm the one who usually lets people cry on my shoulder and don't reach out nearly as much as I should to others when I'm hurting. I really need to work on that and stop bottling everything up inside.


As you might know, I'm comfortable with sharing, with crying in front of people -- but I'm completely at a loss to do so when the pain is something new, when it is something I haven't had a chance to analyze and process. So sometimes I wait to get help when it's acute and most painful. That's what I need to work on -- reaching out when it's most needed.


I for one have no issue what so ever with offering help, but I really suck when it comes to accepting it. It really can't be like that anymore. :/


You hit the nail on the head! Great post, great song. Oh, and by the way, your hugs are amazing :-)


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<3 Robby