Not For the Faint of Heart or the Faint of Calorie

Barring the chance that you were raised by wolves, you probably had someone (mom/grandma/Dear Abby) tell you to "never show up at a party empty handed."

What if that party comes with an intimidatingly bold title? 

A few weeks ago, I attended (at the suggestion of a friend) a happy hour for a group called Boobs Bacon Bourbon.  Not only is their blog hilarious, but the people are splendid examples of humanity (it also turned out that a friend of mine from HS was a part of the group as well). 

This past weekend, said HS friend invited many of the BBB Social Club (as I am calling them) to a Sunday Funday, and I thought it would be the perfect time to unleash a recipe I've only dreamed about and only now had the courage to share with the world. 


Though initially inspired by the Salty Oat Cookies at Teasim, I cribbed the basic recipe from the Kitchen Ninja, doubled it (original recipe below makes 15 cookies, double made 30) and then made a few changes:


6-7 ounces thick-cut bacon slices 1/2 lb maple-cured bacon (applewood smoked could also work), cooked and crumbled (reserve some of the delicious bacon fat) (Side note:  I get my bacon at a farmer's market from a local producer, Cibola Farms.  Trust me, happy pigs make delicious bacon) (and yes, I've also done this recipe using a whole pound of bacon).
1-2 tsp ground cinnamon
2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. Kosher salt
1 cup packed brown sugar (dark is best)
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
2 eggs
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 cup old-fashioned oats
2/3 cup raisins
8-10 oz dark chocolate bits


Mix the flour, baking powder, salt and baking soda in a bowl and set aside. In a stand mixer, beat the sugars and the butter until blended.  Add the vanilla 1tbsp of the cooled bacon fat and beat the mixer until light and fluffy (this took about 3-4 minutes). Add eggs one at a time, mixing well each time. Slowly add the dry ingredients and mix well. In a separate bowl, coat the cooled bacon in ground cinnamon. Add bacon, oats and raisins chocolate and mix thoroughly.

Let the dough chill in the fridge for a bit before proceeding to baking.

Form the dough into balls using a 1.5 oz disher (yes, this is a BIG dough ball) and place on parchment-lined cookie sheets about 3 inches apart.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Bake the cookies, one sheet at a time, until the edges begin to brown but the centers are still a bit soft, about 20 minutes in my oven or 14-16 minutes. Let the cookies cool on the sheet for 10 minutes, then transfer them to a rack to cool completely.  If you want to, sprinkle a bit more of that delicious kosher salt on top before serving.

I packed these delicious cookies up and brought them to Cantina Marina and made some new friends.  One such new friend (Ken) said that they tasted "like god's vagina."  Others wondered why I was just giving them away.  I believe in food diplomacy.  I think the easiest way to make a new friend is to give them something delicious to eat.  These cookies definitely fit the bill.

At a whopping 360 calories per cookie (estimated), I wouldn't necessarily put them in the category of cookie, but I'd consider them a more delicious form of/in the same caloric category as a scone.   Many of my new friends chose to split the cookie a few ways and share over beer.  The diplomat in me could not be more pleased.

I could health them up a bit (I did consider adding Granny Smith apples at one point) or health them down (i did consider marinating the bacon in Jack Daniels), but seriously, why?

I say that if you're willing to put the time and effort in to making a cookie like this, you should be able to eat one guilt-free.  After that, you're on your own.  Now you know why I only make these when I know they'll be shared.

And yes, gents, I'm single.


OMG! Those sound amazing. And what a deliciously wonderful idea for a gift. Oh yeah, I'll be making these for the next person in my work group to have a birthday!


You crack me up. Thanks for the credit!


OMG can't wait to try them,just can't tell the wife.I'm about 2 of those cookies away from a heart attack as for I to struggle with a weight issue. You only live Thanks !!


Just when you wrap them up, don't use tissue paper. I have a feeling the tissue paper would reveal the amount of fat in the cookie and betray your good intentions!

Ms. Ninj:
Of course I'm going to give you credit! I'm glad we've been able to bond over the monstrosity that is the Bacon Salty Oat Cookie (and all its variations/complications).

I do not want to be the cause of your heart attack!! Like the monster says, "Cookies are a sometimes food." If you can share a cookie with a friend, you're still living once but you'll live longer.
Longer lives = more cookie opportunities.
I'm sure there are other ways to make this healthier -- such as using protein powder instead of flour...


Thanks for the shout-out. And those cookies were amazing!


Eric -- thank you for eating the cookies, and being my dating coach :)


holy CRAP, those sound amazing! I'm drooling. And also giggling at such a brilliant way to make friends. And yes, my mom always said not to go to something empty-handed. *sigh*

(Antof9 on Twitter)


I used to do so with tater tots after kickball.... I've only met like 2 people to ever refuse a tot. I mean.... who does that?

awww moms **hugs**


some things should be barred from being "healthed up". You made the right choice. Ya know what I'm sayin'?


Someone who refuses a tot is probably a communist.

Also, I'm with Yum Yucky.


Fearless Kate...
would you be afraid of these cookies?

Madam Yucky...
I wouldn't let the Greedies have any of these before i let you have one :P And you're right, trying to "health up" these cookies is a lesson in futility.

GWCS.... the 10,000 calorie question, are you now or have you ever eaten bacon cookies! It'd make a good play.


That looks divine!



If God created anything better than bacon, he saved it for himself.


I am awaiting the perfect opportunity to make these cookies! They sound like perfection!


Okay first of all, I love the way you wrote this, it's so interesting to read! Second, I sadly won't be able to try this as I do not have access to some of the ingredients but overall, they sound pretty good!


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