All I Want for Fitmas

As a service to my brother and father, I try to keep my Amazon wish list well-populated year round (as well as some other wish lists) so we don't have another well-meaning-but-ultimately-tragic orthopedic bowling shoe incident or another "she doesn't wear gold" awkward moment.

As I get older, it gets harder to find things that I want.  For the most part, if I want something I either buy it, or plan for it (invariably the plans are fruitless because a cat gets sick, my apartment floods, or there is some emergency travel). And sometimes the things I want look more like needs because they are not glamorous at all, such as a Dyson vacuum.

Hurricane Sandy (as well as other natural disasters), the wars and revolutions in the Middle East, the daily reminders that life is ephemeral, have all reminded us to be thankful for what we have.  It seems silly to want something frivolous when we know people that have lost nearly everything.  It seems silly to want something frivolous when we know there are people in the world with nothing.

This year, all I really want for Fitmas is to be able to do 10 pushups--10 uninterrupted pushups without my neck or lower back hurting.
I want to be able to run 5 miles (on the elliptical) two days in a row without feeling like I've been steam rolled.
I want to throw punches again, instead of just beating myself up.
I want to feel 31, not 61 -- not to turn back the clock, but to restore my good health.

There are times when I think this is too much to ask from the universe.  There are times when I think this is not enough to ask of the universe.  Then I realize, I'm not asking the universe for anything extraordinary--just the strength to be patient, the courage to keep fighting for myself, and the wisdom to know when to act and to know when to listen to someone elses' expertise. 

6 comments

I love this post. It's so perfect for me. I don't need a lot of stuff. Unfortunately, with my "we-love-to-spoil" grandma's and my "just-got-a-higher-paying-job" father and brother, I don't think they will give me random stuff if I don't give them a list.

(And no, I'm not complaining, I'm lucky to have them and their random gifts!)

My Fitmas would have me do all my training for my 1/2 marathon. That's ALL I want. Actually.

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Don't get me wrong -- I love to be surprised -- but sometimes, it's disheartening when you get the crush velvet purse with mirrored sequins on it from your aunt.

I love gifts that are an expression of my relationship with another person, an inside joke, or something we saw in a window together that time we walked past something or another. Stuff like that.

But anytime someone asks me what I want... all I can think about is that i want to be where I was 2 years ago -- with a spine that worked with me, not against me.

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My dear, you are one of the wisest and most courageous young women I've ever had the honor to meet. I would gladly donate part of my spine if they did transplants!

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HUGS HUGS HUGS UNDERSTANDING HUGS.

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I find time is the fixer so just keep hanging in there and things will get better.

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Sue -- thank you. I'm hoping that i can get an artificial disc replacement -- so your spine is off the hook :) but the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I'll keep you in mind if i ever need a kidney.

Miz -- **understanding hugs back**

Bubbly -- I've given my neck a year of rest, my lower back 5 years... things have not gotten better.

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